The first time Sebastian Sax put his gum in Cass’s hair, she was eight years old. She screamed, trying to claw it out of her long, wheat-colored curls, but that only made it worse. He laughed, thinking it was funny, until he saw the tears in her gray eyes. For ten seconds, he almost felt sorry.
Then she threw herself at him and smacked him in the jaw, and all hell broke loose. By then, their rivalry was already older than they were. Their packs had once been one clan, split generations ago when two wolves in line to become alpha fought over the same mate. Now the Black Thorn and Silver Pine packs shared a border deep in the woods and shared nothing else but resentment.
The children still played together, running into each other on adventures, and for a while, Cass actually liked Sebastian. He taught her how to make better skips with stones and built the best huts she’d ever seen. But her father told her to make better friends, so she decided the only acceptable way to spend time with him was to beat him. The games got more competitive, the strategies more serious, and the loss of a simple tree-climbing match was unacceptable.
When Sebastian chewed that gum for a suspiciously long time and then stuck it right on top of her head, it wasn’t just an insult. It was a declaration of war. And Cass decided right then that she would dedicate her life to making his a living nightmare. A month later, right after her ninth birthday, she walked into the magician’s shop.
It was a small, dark place people avoided looking at when they passed it on the street. Adrienne, the magician, was impressed when a small blonde head appeared behind his counter. It wasn’t every day a child dared enter his shop. “Are you the magician that grants wishes?
” she asked. Adrienne tried to scare her away with a frown. It didn’t work. She was a wolf shifter, and like most of her kind, overly confident and, in his opinion, astoundingly stupid.
She placed a little pink piggy bank on the counter. “All my savings,” she said. “At least thirty bucks. ”
Adrienne choked down a laugh.
He asked what she wanted to wish for so urgently. Her eyes shone with righteous indignation. “I need you to make someone bald. ”
He raised an eyebrow.
He could, of course. But he warned her that he’d have to take what mattered most to her in exchange. He let her assume her brother’s life would be the price. She whispered that she had a twin brother, and for the first time, she looked taken aback.
“Do you really want to risk losing your brother just so some guy might lose his hair? ”
“Son isn’t just some guy. He’s the lowest, most awful person who’s ever walked this earth. ”
Adrienne nodded in feigned understanding.
“Maybe you don’t have to wish for his demise. You could just make it happen yourself. You seem like quite a capable kid to me. ”
Cass considered it.
“Yeah, I guess I don’t really need you. You do seem rather useless. ”
She left with her nose in the air, and Adrienne felt sorry for Sebastian Sax, even though he didn’t know what the boy had done to earn such violent hatred. For two years, their revenge attempts went back and forth.
Cass and her brother Ronin hid their own hedgehog and sent a fake kidnapping note signed by Sebastian, forcing him to publicly apologize. Sebastian retaliated with a fake apology letter from Cass, confessing to crimes she’d never committed, including tampering with crops and stealing from his father. His parents believed it, and the confrontation between the packs degenerated into a full-blown shouting match. When Cass turned eleven, Sebastian turned thirteen.
That meant he would compete in the rite of passage hunt, the full-day contest where young wolves brought back the biggest bounty. Everyone expected Sebastian to win. Cass, too young to participate, decided she would beat him anyway. She visited the magician again, asking to be made strong enough to win.
Adrienne refused, asking if she’d risk losing her brother over it. “Would it really be winning if you bested your Sebastian because of magic? ”
So she trained. She secretly obtained the plans for the event, memorized every detail, mapped out the terrain and the animal tracks.
She tracked a massive bear for days, learning its habits. On the day of the hunt, she rose before dawn and found it. The battle was brutal, longer and harder than she expected. Pain burned in her muscles and fear raced in her heart.
Only the thought of Sebastian winning kept her going. She couldn’t let that happen. When she emerged into the clearing, dragging the bear’s massive body behind her, the crowd went silent, then erupted in cheers. The head elder placed the victor’s garland around her neck, a garland meant for Sebastian.
Cass didn’t care about the acclaim or the shock. She only cared about the look on Sebastian’s face, pure surprise mixed with resentment, and something new, something dangerously close to admiration. It went straight to her head and made her dizzy with pride. She didn’t know it yet, but she’d grow addicted to that feeling, and nothing but his admiration could produce it.
By thirteen, Cass could beat older wolves in fights. She was aggressive, a force to be reckoned with. She wore her hair in a severe braid, hating that it still hadn’t grown back full length. Her father began pitting her and Ronin against each other, testing which twin would become alpha.
Cass had no doubt it would be her. Across the woods, Sebastian was already looking like the next alpha of his pack. If he was going to be an alpha, then so was she. She’d never tolerate being less than him.
They’d taken to sneaking into the woods at night to hunt and fight, just the two of them, their rivalry grown beyond their packs. But Sebastian was changing. He was taller now, broader, with full muscles and new strength she felt under her fingers when they collided. He could twist her arms, pin her down against a tree, his hazel eyes gleaming.
She feared he’d soon grow bored of her. “You’re the one holding back your punches,” she retorted one night. She hated him for it. Hated that he was bigger while she stayed lean and young.
“If you’re not going to fight me, then don’t waste my time,” she snarled, and with a well-placed swipe of her leg, she brought him down. She rolled them over, straddling him, pinning him to the ground. He blinked up at her in confusion. A faint blush spread across his cheeks.
His gaze darkened with something she couldn’t name, and his scent spiked, thickening around her. She swayed forward. Then he flipped her over, using his greater mass to press her into the earth. “Stop moving,” he groaned against her neck.
She felt the graze of his teeth on her skin. Genuine fear clawed at her. She shoved him away. “Get off me!
”
He complied, drawing back like he’d been burned. She knew what a bite meant. A claiming. An act of dominance.
The thought made her head spin with fear, shame, and a strange disappointment she didn’t want to examine. “I scared you,” he murmured, looking so regretful you’d think she was something fragile. “Shut up,” she snapped, and ran off. They didn’t see much of each other for a while.
When Cass was fifteen, she dreamed about him constantly. She dreamed of fighting him, besting him, finding that admiration in his gaze again. And in almost every dream, Sebastian bit her neck. She’d wake up breathless, panting, both relieved and disappointed.
She was desperate to be rid of the dreams, so she went to Adrienne. In the magician’s shop, she met his human assistant, Iris. Adrienne told her dreams often reflect unconscious feelings, and the best way to get rid of them is to confront them. Iris mentioned she dreamed of her dead father.
The words struck a sensitive cord in Cass. She realized confronting Sebastian about that night in the woods was something she desired, perhaps even needed, and it terrified her. Later that year, she saw Sebastian again at a gathering by the lake. He was almost eighteen, taller and broader, and apparently attractive, if all the looks he received were any indication.
Cass didn’t see it. Perfectly average hazel eyes. Well-built, but so were most young men his age. His brown hair was as messy as ever.
Maybe it was his smile. Maybe it was his confidence, the way he carried himself with the effortless authority befitting an alpha. That night, she dreamed she was the one everyone admired, the one who held her head high in dominance. Sebastian was in the crowd, subjected to her authority, and her wolf preened with pride.
She woke up feeling powerful. She knew what she needed to do. She had to match his social skills, to make him see her as a rival again, a rival he’d never dare put his teeth upon. When she was about to turn sixteen, she put her plan into action.
She went to a club, looking older with makeup and a dress that showed off her long legs. She caught practically every stare in the place, except Sebastian’s. When their eyes met across the bar, he just frowned, twitched, and then let his friend distract him. He walked off without a word.
Humiliation colored her cheeks. That was it? All her effort for a barely-there glance? If Sebastian thought he was better than her, if he wouldn’t even entertain their rivalry, then she absolutely had to remind him who he was dealing with.
His friend went to the bar, and Cass followed him. She turned on the charm, letting him believe he had a chance, then carefully angled their bodies right in front of Sebastian’s booth. Just as Peter deepened the kiss, Sebastian’s familiar scent flooded with anger. He stormed over and pulled Peter away so abruptly the other wolf nearly fell.
“Get off her. ” His face was twisted in a sneer. “She’s sixteen. You think it’s fine taking advantage of a minor?
”
“I wanted him to kiss me,” Cass said, lacing her words with command. “Leave him alone. ”
Sebastian’s jaw clenched, his focus entirely on her. She’d missed this, she realized, slightly confused.
She’d missed being the focus of his hatred. His eyes were bright gold with fury. “Can’t you smell how much he? ” Sebastian was shaking.
“He wanted more than to kiss you. ”
“I’d be happy to let him,” she smirked. His grip on her arm tightened to the point of pain. For a brief moment, every instinct warned her of something she couldn’t understand.
His eyes descended on her bare neck with fixed intent. The insane thought that he was about to bite her bloomed in her mind. Then he let go, walked off, and left her breathless. She felt like she was eight again, and she thought she might cry.
But then he turned back, walked up to her, and barked, “Our place in the woods. Tomorrow night. ”
Triumph washed over her. When she was seventeen, their meetings in the woods took a different turn.
She taunted him into a fight, and they threw themselves at each other, their skills evenly matched. “I think we’re finished here,” he said earlier than expected, with a tired resignation in his eyes that twisted her heart. “Finished! ” She screamed, nearly blind with rage.
Couldn’t he see they were equals? She threw herself at him, and they toppled to the ground. Their eyes met, and she wasn’t sure how the kiss began. She just knew she was grabbing his hair to deepen it, drinking every moan from his lips like water.
It was angry, forceful, a reclaiming of sorts. His touch became bruising, possessive, as if to tell her if he wasn’t her first, he’d be her best. She certainly thought so, though she’d rather die than let him know. Later, alone in her room, regret clawed at her throat.
What they’d done was something meant for mates, not natural enemies. If her father learned, he’d rob her of any chance of becoming alpha, and it could start a war. And worst of all, would Sebastian even respect her as a rival now? He came back, and they fought, but the pretense didn’t last long.
Not with their bodies pressed so close, not with the way his eyes fluttered shut when he detected his scent on her. The next night, they didn’t even pretend. Every night, she told herself it would be the last time. It made no sense.
It was bound to ruin everything. But their packs would never sanction this. For them, it was always either be enemies or be strangers. Anything else could never be, at least not in the open.
She thought perhaps the novelty would fade. She didn’t dare think of what she’d become if it dulled on his end. Adrienne wasn’t in the shop the next time she visited. Iris was alone.
“I need him to free me of this insanity,” Cass said, pacing like a trapped beast. “What did you want him to do exactly? ” Iris asked carefully. Cass couldn’t bring herself to say the words.
She left, rushing away, because deep down she knew the only thing she should be wishing to be rid of was her love. Cass was eighteen when a real fight erupted between members of her pack and Sebastian’s. She’d been at a bar with her brother and packmates. One of them, a male named Finn she was close to, put a familiar arm around her shoulder.
Sebastian was somewhere in the bar; she could smell him. Then a loud crash. Finn was gripping Sebastian’s shirt, sneering, backing him against a wall. “What are you doing?
” she barked. “He smells like you,” Finn replied. “Why does he smell like you? ”
Her entire world stopped.
This was it. The moment they got exposed. She’d lose her father’s respect, her pack, and most importantly, she’d lose Sebastian. If they were found out, Sebastian’s parents might force him to take a mate to put the rumors to rest.
She’d heard they’d been looking for candidates. Would he even fight for her? “We met briefly behind the bar,” she said quickly. “We had a little squabble, that’s all.
”
It backfired. Ronin’s protective instincts ignited. “You attacked her alone? You could have hurt her.
”
“We didn’t fight,” Sebastian began. “Yes, we did,” she snapped, and Ronin screamed, throwing himself at Sebastian. The bar erupted into chaos, with Cass having to parry a hit from one of Sebastian’s female packmates. She noticed the humans staring.
“Enough,” Sebastian exclaimed, stilling his pack, and to Cass’s displeasure, some of hers too. But not Ronin, who pulled her away, growling, “Stay the hell away from my sister. ”
“What were you thinking? ” Sebastian yelled when they met later that night.
“Telling your pack we’d gotten into a fight. ”
“What else was I supposed to say? Finn smelled me on you. What if he’d realized?
”
“It wouldn’t have been worse than them thinking an alpha attacked you alone. ”
“I’m not a random wolf,” she screeched. “Cass, you’re the one that panicked at the idea of everyone finding out about us, not me. Especially when you let all these other wolves touch you right in front of me.
”
“There is no us,” she snapped, panic clenching her gut. “I can do what I want with whoever I want. ”
He grabbed her jaw forcefully, his eyes gold with anger. “You’re mine.
”
“I’m not,” she said, batting his hand away. He caught her hand instead, pulling her closer. “You could be,” he said softly. “I want you to be, Cass.
I love you. ”
Her heart did something complicated. Was this a trick? He’d just called her a random wolf, thrown his title in her face.
She was going to be an alpha too. Why would he say this only now, not the day before when he’d held her, or all the days before that? “Don’t,” she snapped, pulling away. “We’re nothing.
You’re nothing to me. ”
Sebastian paled. “Fine,” he spat, turning and walking away. The next day, he answered her father’s call to discuss the altercation, apologized for approaching Cass, and swore it wouldn’t happen again.
It didn’t. When Cass was twenty, her father told her he’d decided to make her alpha. It was everything she’d ever wanted. She’d pictured this moment her whole life, imagining the pride and joy.
She hadn’t expected to feel nothing. She’d felt numb and empty ever since that night Sebastian walked away. She’d only stayed afloat by telling herself it would all be worth it when she finally became alpha. But that morning, she learned of his engagement.
He was to be mated to the daughter of a powerful alpha from another pack. Her father gave Ronin a family dagger, laced with a poison powerful enough to kill any wolf with a single prick. He warned that Sebastian’s engagement would affect his judgment, and they’d need to work hard to keep their pack thriving. Two days later, at the engagement party, Cass wore her most beautiful dress, her neck bare, hoping Sebastian would think of their time together.
But he danced with his fiancée, made speeches, and never looked at her once. She felt something die inside her. Perhaps it had never been about being his equal. Perhaps it only came down to the fact that she’d been born into a pack set to despise his.
When she couldn’t delay greeting them any longer, she forced herself over. Sebastian’s fiancée smiled brightly and thanked her warmly. Sebastian politely inclined his head. “Thank you,” he said curtly, then moved his fiancée away for a dance.
She fled into a nearby library to escape the pain. A moment later, the door closed, and Sebastian entered, alone. “What are you doing here? ” he asked.
“You’re in my house. ”
“My father chose me to be our next alpha,” she said, wielding the title like a shield. “Well, congratulations then. It’s everything you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?
”
She asked if he loved his fiancée. “Isn’t that obvious? I’m marrying her, aren’t I? ”
The words were designed to hurt, and they did.
They argued, voices rising, until Sebastian said, his voice mean and scathing, “You didn’t earn anything. You always had it. I’ve always looked at you. Always.
Ever since we were young. But I’m done now. It’s over. ”
She was crying, and she didn’t remember when it started.
“It’ll never be over,” she told him. “Never. You know it and I know it. ”
And before he could reply, she grabbed his face and kissed him, a bruising, desperate kiss.
He sighed into it, giving ground, his hands pulling the pins from her hair, burying his nose in her curls. “I want nothing to do with you,” he sighed. “I love you,” she replied. He flinched like she’d hurt him.
“No,” he said, stepping away. “Enough. ” He fled the room without looking back, leaving her alone. Later that night, she stood outside the magician’s shop, but it was closed.
She didn’t know it then, but she’d be making her wish the very next day. She woke in the early hours of the morning to wet lips sucking bruises on her neck. She should have felt fear, but the scent was familiar, and the touch felt natural. She met Sebastian’s eyes through the darkness.
“What are you doing here? ” she asked. He chuckled. “I was celebrating my engagement, remember?
”
She rolled her eyes, pushing him away. “Shouldn’t you be with your fiancée? ”
“I said, I don’t have a fiancée. I broke off our engagement.
”
“Why? ”
“Didn’t want her. How could I mate with another when you love me? ” He left a trail of kisses on her collarbone.
“Say that you love me again. ”
“I love you,” she murmured, watching his pupils dilate with satisfaction. But when his teeth grazed her neck, she knew what he wanted. She wanted it too, wanted to be his mate, but not like this, not while he was drunk.
“Don’t, please stop,” she gasped, though she only bared her neck further, mind saying no but body giving in. His teeth sank into her skin, and she screamed. Ronin’s scream joined hers. Suddenly Sebastian was gasping above her, features contorting in pain.
“Get off her! ” Ronin yelled, holding the family dagger. Cass felt something wet and warm dripping down Sebastian’s back. Blood.
“Did he force himself? ” Ronin asked, fear twisting his features. “I heard you tell him no. ”
“No, he wasn’t.
I love him. Sebastian and I have been lovers for years. ”
Ronin’s eyes widened, but there was no time. Sebastian gasped out her name, losing consciousness.
“Stay with me,” she begged him. “Don’t fall asleep. ”
Her brother ran to get their father. Hours later, Cass’s father was furious.
He immediately crafted a story: Sebastian had forced his way into her room, claimed her, and her brother had defended her. “I wanted him to claim me,” she protested. “Well, you’ll keep that to yourself if you want you and your brother to live. ”
Cass was left alone with her mate’s dying breaths.
The dagger was laced with poison, and there was no cure. She held his face against her chest, murmuring promises. “I’m going to fix this. You’re going to be okay.
”
At dawn, she banged on the magician’s door. Iris let her in. “This time, there will be no changing my mind,” Cass declared. “You’re going to grant me a wish.
I don’t care what it costs. ”
Adrienne tried to warn her, but she was determined. She wished for Sebastian to recover. The magician closed his eyes, concentrating.
When he opened them, he looked conflicted. “You’re with child. ”
She froze, then looked at her own stomach. “What does it mean?
”
“What matters most to you is being Sebastian’s mate,” Adrienne said. “So, I’ll be taking away the very thing that makes it possible. I’ll make you human. You probably won’t be able to raise your baby.
He’ll still have his wolf, but you won’t. ”
Cass closed her eyes, taking a deep, shaking breath. “Do it,” she said in a toneless voice. “Grant my wish.
”
She didn’t feel her wolf leave her body. One minute, it was howling painfully against her broken mind. The next, it was gone, like it had never been there. She screamed as the sudden absence, the nothingness, hit her.
When she returned to the pack, she couldn’t smell her brother’s distress or sense her mother’s love. Everything was dulled, watered down. Sebastian rushed out, a bright, hopeful smile on his face that fell when he met her gaze. “Did this magician do this to you?
Take your wolf? ” Ronin asked. “I asked him to,” she said. “That’s how he healed.
”
Sebastian took her face in his hands, asking her to look at him, but she couldn’t bear it. “I’d like to be alone now,” she told them, walking away. A week later, on her twenty-first birthday, Sebastian burst into her room. He dropped to his knees beside her and pulled her into his arms.
She forced herself to say the words she’d been practicing. “I’m sorry I disrupted your engagement. I’m sure if you try hard enough, your mate-to-be will reconsider. ”
“What are you talking about?
” he asked, sincerely confused. “You’re my mate. ”
“I’m no such thing. I’m a human now.
”
“So what? You really think I’d let my mate live somewhere dangerous? I already told my pack I renounced my title. ”
She shook her head in disbelief.
“You can’t give it all up for me. ”
“You gave your wolf for me. If you think for one second I wouldn’t make a sacrifice infinitely smaller than the one you’ve made in return, then you’re—“ He stopped. “I’m pregnant,” she interrupted.
“I may not survive the birth. I won’t be able to look after our baby. ”
But Sebastian only looked surprised for a second before pure joy crossed his features. “We’ll be okay,” he told her.
“As long as we’re together, we’ll be okay. ”
At the magician’s shop, Adrienne set a silver ring at the center of a pentagram. He was sick now, his health failing from the power he’d spent and the rules he’d broken for Cass. With the last of his own magic, not the demon’s, he enchanted the ring.
“Go give this to Cassandra,” he instructed Iris. “It’s what she gave up. Her magical ability to shift is locked in there. ”
“I thought you couldn’t give it back.
”
“I can’t, per se. I’d have to die for her to be able to reclaim her power. But I’d like her to have the possibility should it happen. If I come to pass, she or whoever bears this ring will be able to reclaim her shifting powers.
”
“But you won’t,” Iris insisted. “At least let it be a symbol of my promise to look after her and her loved ones as much as I can. ”
“Why don’t you give it to her? ”
“Because I can’t bear to see the sadness in her eyes,” he thought.
“I’m a coward,” he thought. “Her mate won’t let her,” he said. Iris delivered the ring the next year. Cass was twenty-two, holding a four-month-old baby.
She was thinner than Iris remembered, more frail, but her baby was healthy, and so was her husband. They named him Harry, short for Harrison, because Sebastian was a big fan of those human Star Wars films. “This is a gift from Adrien,” Iris said. “A promise.
Should you or someone from your family need help, tell them to come to the shop with this ring. Adrienne will do whatever he can to help. ”
“Could we go now and have him make Cass a wolf again? ” Sebastian asked.
“We’re days away from giving up our son to her brother for safety. ”
“We already decided we wouldn’t risk going back,” Cass said, looking at her child resolutely. “Giving her a wolf back is impossible,” Iris explained. “It would mean canceling her wish, and that can’t be done.
But if there’s anything else we can do… ”
“You’ve done enough,” Sebastian snapped, showing her out. “Thank you,” Cassandra said over her shoulder. “Tell him thank you. ”
On her way back to the shop, Iris wondered if she could ever love someone that much, enough to sacrifice so much for them.
She asked Adrienne if he’d ever been in love. He didn’t reply.
