“Who’s this? ” she said, leaning into the phone screen. “Hello. Hello.
”
“I think I did worse,” the other girl muttered. She was holding a slice of pizza, already half eaten. “Okay, well, I’m not chopping no more,” the first one said. She set her food down.
“I’m not chopping. Oops. ”
“Give me my phone. ”
“No.
I want your stupid—” she grabbed for it, laughing. “Give me my phone. My phone. ”
“I said you could have it when I die.
”
“I don’t want to watch all your porn, you dummy. ”
“Stupid—she said a slur, guys. She said a slur. ”
“I said what?
”
“I’m going to remove you as moderator. ”
“Why? ”
“I don’t want to touch you. As you guys can see, she’s abusive.
”
“I’m not abusive. I’m a good person. ”
“See that guy’s not here no more. ”
The mood shifted suddenly.
“Do you want to go offline? ”
“Who? No. Can I have some?
” She pointed at the pizza. “Invite him. Let me see. ”
“Background is waiting in the kitchen.
She said making? She’s waiting in the kitchen. ”
“Okay, well, let’s go. Can we?
Let’s go help Chris’s mom. ”
“How about you go ask him out? I’ll give you the whole pizza if you go ask him out. ”
“What do I ask him?
Work here then? What? ”
“And then you guys can all kissy kissy in the back. And you can bend him over.
You can bend them over. ”
“Okay. Your bras don’t save, right? ”
“Yeah, they do.
”
“No, they don’t save. I don’t save. No. ”
“Why not?
”
“Where’s Chris’s mom? ”
“Probably doing her job. Something that you don’t have. ”
The conversation kept jumping, the two of them talking over each other, half to each other, half to the phone camera.
They were streaming, and the viewer count was low, but the chatter was constant. “This guy said, ‘Yo. ’” She read the comment out loud. “Yo.
”
“Yo. Yo. ”
“What’s up? ”
“Does my double chin look big?
” the first girl asked, tilting the phone. “I can’t look at myself. I look so cringe. Ew.
”
“What are you trying to hide? ”
“I’m confused. What do you mean hide? ”
“You’re going to make me fat.
”
“I’m going to make you fat. ”
“She wanted to go, guys. It wasn’t my idea. ”
“Yes, it was.
I wanted to go to sleep. ”
“No, no, no. Let’s not talk right now. Let’s go to Diddy’s and hopefully they have a better refrigerator locker.
”
“You better eat all this food. ”
“So, I have four slices of pizza. We’re going to be here forever. ”
“Well, Diddy’s doesn’t close until late.
”
“Yeah. ”
“I’ll chop a slice down. Oh, you eat three, I eat one. ”
“You keep looking there.
You’re going to know that you’re liking. ”
“Wait, let me shut the phone up, though, actually. And he probably can hear us. Go to Diddy’s.
”
“Diddy, I’m talking to you. ”
“Hey. ”
“You’re going to get me banned. ”
“I said, I’m talking to you.
”
“It’s child-friendly. ”
“No, it’s not. Maybe on TikTok, but not on this phone. This guy can go talk to himself.
”
“Hey. ”
“You want more hot sauce than this? You just want to—”
“Well, you’re right. I don’t want to go.
Go get some. I want some. I want some more. ”
“My double chin.
”
“What did he say? Y’all family-friendly. ”
“What did he say? ”
“We are family-friendly.
Very much. No cussing. ”
“He can go to hell. ” She laughed.
The two of them cracked up, then tried to pull themselves together for the stream. “You just left my phone over there. ”
“Who’s going to steal it? ”
“Thank you so much.
Thank you. ”
“You’re pissing her off. ”
“What am I pissing her off? ”
“You keep taking all the food.
”
“You wanted it. ”
“Oh my god, I’m going to have a heart attack. No, I shouldn’t. Wait.
Talk to the phone. ”
“What are you saying? ”
“Oh my god, Gerald. ”
“Laughter.
”
“What is his name? What is his name? ”
“Oh my god, it is Gerald Salvatore. ”
“Salvatore, like Damon Salvatore?
”
“Don’t say that. Some corny thing. Gerald. ”
“Gerald, can you say dude?
”
“Dude. ”
“Sorry, the phone was like left here. ”
“Don’t say dude. ”
“Dude.
”
“Don’t say dude. ”
“Dude. ”
“Why? It’s really something sexual.
”
“Sexual? ”
“Laughter. ”
“What are you talking? Gerald.
”
“That sounds seductive. ”
“What are you talking? ”
“Wait, when is your phone? ”
“Oh, he’s a—Gerald, what the hell is this?
”
“Oh, Gerald, get off. ”
“Gerald, what the hell? ”
“Laughter. ”
“Gerald.
”
“No shade, though. ”
“What is he saying? ”
“It’s a black dude. I mean, no, not a black—oh my god, he’s watching it.
He’s watching it. ”
“Laughter. ”
“Oh, he’s so cute. Give me.
Bro. Actually, like, bro, we have a lot of junk. Get us off your lap. ”
“Laughter.
”
“How many followers does he have? ”
“Oh, 25. ”
“Oh. We chilling.
”
“I’m not that far away from you. We can watch the stream. ”
“Yeah, let’s do it. ”
“Oh, you have a whole set of attitude.
”
“Laughter. ”
“Can you get in the chat? Wait, can we watch it? You’re watching our stream, bro.
Sit here. You saw a dead body lying there. ”
“Why is it turning to that guy? ”
“Oh, he’s asking if you’re single.
”
“What? ”
“He’s asking if you’re single. I can’t hear him. ”
“Are you single?
Ask him how old he is. ”
“How old are you? ”
“I don’t think he’s gay. ”
“Ask him how old he is.
”
“How old are you, bro? ”
“18. 18. He’s 18.
”
“Where does he live? ”
“Where do you live? ”
“What’s your addy? ”
“He said Hawaii.
”
“Why is he hot? ”
“Where are we at? Where? Where?
”
“In the Bay. ”
“Hawaii? No. ”
“And he just said this lame thing.
Go get a job. ”
“Exactly. Go get a job. Go get a freaking job, bro.
Can you get in the live and stop making—you better fix that attitude, bro. ”
“How many views does he have? ”
“He has four. ”
“What if we do nick?
Will I get banned? Hello. If I do nick, will I get banned? ”
“If he’s gay.
Are you gay? I don’t think he’s gay. He looks straight as anything. ”
“You can get banned if you’re gay.
You can. ”
“What did he say? ”
“Oh my god, my double chin’s in his video. ”
“I’m not gay.
”
“You are not gay, little bro. You are not gay, little bro. ”
“Who’s he trying to cap? He’s—what are you?
”
“I’m not homophobic. ”
“Homophobic. Laughter. ”
“I’m homophobic.
”
“Wait, ask him how he found us. ”
“Are you top or bottom? ”
“I’m top or bottom. What?
”
“Are you top or bottom? ”
“Neither. ”
“He’s both, depending on who it is. ”
“What?
”
“I have to go to the bathroom so bad. I’m trying to hold it. Oh my god, I actually have to go so bad. I’m not even lying.
”
“Yo, why is he hating, man? ”
“Oh my god, I love you. ”
“He just said I love you. ”
“How did he—wait.
Where do you live, little bro? Where do you live? Follow us. Follow me.
Follow me. ”
“He’s lying. ”
“Where at? Don’t open your mouth.
”
“Oh. Oh my god, I look like a double chin. It just gets worse and worse. ”
“Worse, because he’s like, ‘Mom, can you—’”
“You are a liar.
”
“Where does he live? Find it out. Hack his IP. ”
“What are you covering?
”
“My double chin. I don’t want to see that. ”
“Someone on your phone. Let this—yeah, I don’t want to see this.
”
“Ooh, he’s eating chicken. Period. ”
“He doesn’t look 18, though. I say you look 22, 23.
”
“Can we report him for stalking us? ”
“Laughter. ”
“Wait, how’s he—how did he find us? Actually, how did he find us?
”
“Laughter. ”
“Hell no. ”
“What is he saying? Tell me.
I guess. ”
“What is he typing, man? What is he typing? What did he say?
”
“I’m 18. ”
“Does he not know we’re here? ”
“Well, we could hear you. We’re watching your stream.
We zoomed it to you. ”
“Laughter. ”
“Again, look at my double chin. ”
“Oh, but I can’t even see the chat.
I would have to open it here. ”
“My Insta. Follow his Insta. ”
“Oh.
”
“That entertaining. We’re not that entertaining, for real. ”
“What do you—hello? Did he just break the whole thing?
”
“Okay. ”
“What does he want? ”
“He wants to just watch us. ”
“Follow us and we’ll follow you.
I’ll follow on my thing, too. ”
“I think he’s not going to follow us. ”
“Okay, I’ll check. I’ll check after if he follows.
”
“How am I—I can’t freaking—can you screenshot his thing? I’ll follow it after the stream. Actually, how did he find us? ”
“On the recommended, girl.
”
“What? Anyways, we’re going to finish this. I forgot I have an Instagram. Hey, we’re going to lose a viewer, stupid.
Can you donate us $100? ”
“Cute. So you pack it up. Lock your mind, dog, or one of you guys.
”
“Wait. Is this on your thing or his thing? ”
“Oh no, that’s his thing. ”
“Wait.
Oh yeah. That’s his Insta. ”
“Oh my god, I thought I had—I thought it was inside you. ”
“He said he doesn’t have a wife, too.
”
“I don’t want to look like you. ”
“I almost had a heart attack. My double chin is getting worse and worse. ”
“Hold on.
Can you ask Chris to put a box? Go ask. ”
“No, don’t follow me, please. We got to get views.
Ask him for the Insta. Um, Michael, what’s your Insta? Put your Insta in the chat. ”
“Oh my god, no one’s going to get it.
”
“Oh my god. I look bad, too. ”
“Girl, it’s fine. ”
“Oh my god.
Mr. Dramatic. ”
“Crying. ”
“You want to go back?
”
“I don’t know. ”
“What is he saying? ”
“Oh my goodness, a big-ass pimple. I gotta shave.
”
“You’re leaving her car? Can we just come back for it? ”
“Come back for what? ”
“What?
”
“Sunny, stop pointing the camera at the back. Okay. ”
“He called me a fatty. ”
“For real?
”
“Yeah. ”
“Swear? ”
“You got him a—”