The hospital hallway smelled like antiseptic and wilting flowers. I was rereading the same contract line for the fifth time, trying to find a loophole, when I heard his voice. “You’re still as stubborn as ever. ”
I looked up.
Roger Palmer stood there, arms crossed, that insufferable smirk on his face. We were supposed to be in a truce—the Neil and Lou families were negotiating a partnership—but he always knew exactly how to get under my skin. “It’s a terrible contract,” I said. “Even a dog would shake its head at it.
”
“Miss Neil, all the profits go to you. You get to live on air? ”
“Can’t win an argument, so here we go again. Are you feeling sick?
Or are you going to fake a limp this time? ”
“Are you going to sign it or not? ”
I signed. He said something about not meaning it, about not being angry, about discussing details next Tuesday.
I walked away. He followed me. “Do you own this hospital? ” I demanded.
“Can’t I be here? You’re sick? ”
“Let me see the report. ”
“You care about me now?
”
“Of course not. If you croaked, where would I find another business partner this clueless? ”
“Your mouth is so poisonous. Should I be sweet-talking my ex-wife then?
”
I snapped. “Just you wait, Roger. One day I’ll find a place. When I have a baby, we’ll have the baby call you uncle.
”
“You jerk. ”
But he was laughing. That annoying, warm laugh I couldn’t stand. He said I was still strong as ever, that I seemed fine, and reminded me about the project details next Tuesday.
I didn’t expect him to show up at my office later. I didn’t expect him to comment on my coffee, or my water being too cold, or my smoking. He kept finding excuses to be near me, and I kept finding excuses to push him away. We were like two kids fighting in a sandbox, and everyone around us just watched.
“You’re all of you. Stop it right now,” someone finally said. We ended up at the hospital again. He’d gotten hurt—nothing serious, but he played it up like he was dying.
“Anywhere else hurt? ”
“Yeah. My lower back. ”
“What nonsense.
When did I hit you there? I hit the table. ”
“Unbutton your shirt. My hands hurt.
I can’t. ”
“What are you doing? ”
“Helping you take it off. Drama queen.
”
“Roger, will you quit messing around? Where exactly are you hurt? ”
“Here. So, what do you want me to do about it?
”
“How are you going to make this up to me? ”
“I’ll give you my feelings. Dare you take it? ”
“Marriage?
You dare? ”
“Marriage. ”
“Marriage? I’m not ready yet.
Can we take it slow? ”
“You’re playing with me again. ”
“I’m not. If you don’t even dare to get married, you don’t deserve to talk about love.
”
My brother Kyle pulled me aside afterward. “A daughter isn’t meant to stay forever. Have you forgotten how she humiliated you before? Why are you still tangled up with her?
”
“I haven’t forgotten. She doesn’t understand feelings or how to love. This time, I won’t look back. ”
“Is what you just said true?
”
“It’s true. You haven’t sorted out your feelings. Why are you still provoking me? ”
“I’m sorry.
”
It started raining. He offered to take me home. “She has legs of her own,” Kyle snapped. “Miss Neil’s legs are broken again?
”
“I can walk by myself. ”
But then I saw him with someone else—a flower arrangement, a compliment, a smile that wasn’t meant for me. I stood there, watching, and something inside me crumpled. “Neil Higgins.
Richard’s flower arrangement is lovely. You’re nothing but a walking disaster. Get out. Now.
Go on. Get out. ”
“Neil Higgins. Neil.
Please don’t cry, all right? My fault. All my fault. Stop crying.
It’s all my fault. I’m sorry. What I said earlier wasn’t true. I’m sorry.
”
“Roger. Look at me. I’ve been spoiled and willful since I was little. I’m good-for-nothing.
I’m selfish. ”
“Neil. ”
“I like you. I love you.
Don’t push me away. Let’s start over. ”
“Roger. You’re right.
I really have no ability. And I can’t learn to love. How could someone like me be easily loved? ”
“You’re not me.
Don’t doubt me. Stop treating me like this. Okay? I’m scared.
I’m afraid I can’t do it. I’m scared. ”
“Neil. Stop crying.
Don’t push me away. Okay? Then we won’t get married. Just stay by my side.
Please. ”
He took me home. I got sick from the rain. Then the hospital called with test results.
“Miss Neil. Like I told you before, you can’t let your emotions run wild. These test results show your pregnancy levels are too low. There’s a high risk of threatened miscarriage.
I’ll prescribe meds. But if your levels don’t rise in a week, we shouldn’t continue the pregnancy. ”
I didn’t tell him. I couldn’t.
Not yet. They say romance should start with flowers. He brought me to meet his family. “Seriously?
I mean, does this mean I’m official now? ”
“Not official. I just want my brother, Mr. Higgins, to meet my boyfriend.
”
“Why are you sitting so far away? Come over here. Today is our first official meeting with Mr. If.
We’re too clingy. It might leave a bad impression. ”
“Who cares about his bad impression? ”
“You don’t care.
Why are you dressed so formally? What are you up to? Stop moving. If you move again, I’ll make you sit on my lap and meet my parents.
”
“You really don’t have to do such strange things for me. ”
“As long as you care about me, it’s worth it, even if I die. ”
“Ow. Right.
Damn that manipulative person. ”
Dinner went better than I expected. His family was warm, welcoming. But then I saw Kyle watching me from across the table, and I knew he was thinking about everything I’d told him.
About how I didn’t know how to love. About how I was afraid. “Did you take your prenatal vitamins? Do I have to remind you?
You’re so messy. Act like a mom. ”
“Honey. Changed how you address me today?
Not Kyle? Why you? ”
“Kyle. Give my phone back.
Now. ”
“Want it? Take your medicine first. Listen.
What listen? Let her explain it herself. Let her tell you herself. ”
“Kyle told me to remind you to take your medicine properly.
You caught a fever after getting caught in the rain last time and you’re still not better. ”
“Your brother Kyle seems quite concerned about me. ”
“Last time it was about my smoking. Now it’s about taking medicine.
”
“My brother Kyle. Well, he just cares a lot. ”
Work was chaos. A crystal ball broke.
A waitress got fired. He pulled me into his office, and I could feel the tension between us building like a storm. “Seems this pretty precious. Was it a gift from your ex-girlfriend?
”
“What do you mean? ”
“I’m worried that my prick will hurt you. Want to check out my lounge? ”
“No.
There’s a huge bed, a bathtub, and a whole wall of floor-to-ceiling windows. ”
“I said I’m not going. ”
“We’re starting from scratch with dating. Who in their right mind jumps straight into bed when dating?
”
“Is it really not allowed? No. Roger, if you kiss me again, I’ll hit you. ”
“Every time you kiss me, I hit back.
Really? Really not possible. ”
“Really not. You can’t handle it.
”
“Of course, baby can’t. Fine. Whatever you say. ”
“So, what are your plans for life and the future?
”
“I want to try all the thrilling and dangerous competitions in the world. Once I’ve lived that dream, I’ll go live abroad. The world is so big. I want to see it all.
Take my kids, too. Explore the world. ”
“What do you think? Isn’t my dream super cool?
”
“It’s nice. But there’s no me in your future. Seems like you don’t need anyone in your future. You always face everything alone.
Even handle those killers just fine. ”
“Neo, do you think I’m not good enough for you? ”
“It’s not that. I’m just used to not relying on others.
But you’re definitely in my future. ”
“No. You’re just used to expecting the worst between us. ”
“Roger Palmer, I love you.
”
“Knew it. Those four words are enough. You don’t need to force me into your future. Like I said, we’ll take things slow.
I’ll find my place. Try to be part of your life. ”
“Sorry about that. ”
“Don’t apologize.
Neil, this is who you are and that’s what makes you perfect. ”
The hospital text came on Saturday. “Miss Neil, don’t forget your prenatal checkup this weekend. ”
“Who’s the text from?
”
“The hospital, reminding you not to miss the prenatal checkup. ”
“So you really are pregnant. Why didn’t you tell me? ”
“I was going to tell you, but a lot happened in between.
I didn’t want to put you in a tough spot or be a bother. ”
“You’re doing this again. You always shut me out. He’s my child, too, you know.
”
“Sorry, I forgot. ”
“You don’t need to apologize. I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you lately. Come on.
I’ll go with you to the appointment. ”
The doctor wasn’t gentle. “Well, finally meeting the father isn’t easy, is it? So, is this the jerk who caused your threatened miscarriage?
”
“No. Doctor, you’ve got it wrong. He didn’t know I was pregnant. Threatened miscarriage?
”
“Episode 67, your wife’s emotional distress earlier caused a threatened miscarriage. According to this checkup report, your pregnancy levels are gradually returning to normal. The baby’s finally safe. Thank goodness.
Since your morning sickness is severe, the side effects will reappear once your level stabilize. ”
“Roger. Can you do me a favor? ”
“Are you dying or something?
Wife? I’m such a jerk. It’s not all your fault. I should have told you sooner.
I’m the worst. Pregnancy is brutal. ”
“All right. Right.
Pick a name for our baby. ”
“So, you’re finally acknowledging me? Using the baby to lock me down? What does that make me?
Just some guy riding on his kids’ coattails? ”
“Enough. Why are you being so sulky today? Like a puppy?
Already decided. Norine for a girl, Charlie for a boy. They’ll have my last name? ”
“I’ve already thought of the kids’ names.
If it’s a girl, she’ll be Norine, and if it’s a boy, he’ll be Charlie. With my surname? ”
“Why shouldn’t it have your surname? You’re the one having the baby.
”
“You can’t joke about this. You’ll make the Palmer family furious. ”
“Who would dare object? Any Palmer elder trying to boss me around?
If it comes to that, I’ll take your surname Higgins tomorrow. ”
“People say you’re like my loyal dog. Does it bother you? ”
“They’re just envious.
What’s wrong with being a dog? Tomorrow I’ll wear a sign saying Neil’s exclusive. Woof. Woof.
”
“Unless you don’t want to take responsibility for us. ”
“Are you suggesting we get married? All right. Can you come home with me tonight?
”
“I can’t. I haven’t told Mr. and Kyle yet. They’d worry about me.
”
“Look at you being responsible now. Caring that the family might worry. ”
“I’m a mother now. ”
Later that night, he showed up at my door.
“Roger, are you out of your mind coming here in the middle of the night? Before Mr. Roger finds out, you need to leave. Go.
Go on. Get out of here quick. ”
“I’m not going. Don’t you like excitement?
I came here tonight specifically to sneak around with you. Hey. Keep your voice down. Will you?
What are you even saying? I don’t care. I came here to sleep with you tonight. ”
He was just scaring me, but then he pulled out a box.
“What is all this? I went to Nancheng Temple today and visited your father’s friend. These are all things he left for you before he passed away. ”
“You think you can win me over with this stuff?
He wished I were dead. Why would he prepare any of this for me? ”
“Your father had severe bipolar disorder before he died. ”
“I don’t believe it.
”
“Your father knew about his condition. That’s why he sent your brothers abroad, but he couldn’t bear to part with you when you were just born. He kept suppressing his illness, but Neil, you’ve always been loved. ”
“Dad, don’t leave me.
Dad. Dad. ”
“No more tears, Neil. I’ll take you home.
Son, son. Son, Dad’s here, too. Take you home. ”
“Dad.
Dad. Son. Dad. ”
“Bad dream?
Sweet dream. Roger. Thank you. ”
“And you said you didn’t know how to love.
My love, you’ve been through a lot. ”
“Roger. Let’s get married. ”
“Really?
Why do you even have a ring on you? ”
“Miss Neil, will you marry me and start a family with me? “
