Last night, my girlfriend and I got into an argument. She started it, and after I bit my tongue and apologized, she just ignored it and moved on to something else. The fight was about her hanging out alone with this guy in her room, especially after he made uncomfortable advances toward her. She told me later she understood and wouldn’t have him in her room alone anymore.
Then she went MIA for two hours. Something deep inside kept telling me to go to her house, like an echoing voice saying, “Go. Go to her house. ” So after my second job, I drove over.
As I pulled in, she texted saying she was reading a book. I replied, “Okay, hope you’re enjoying it. ”
I walked into her room, and there he was. The same guy we just talked about.
Lying in her bed. She tried saying his ribs were broken and he needed help. But she’s not a nurse or a doctor. I asked why his friends would drop him off at her house instead of taking him to the hospital—he could have internal bleeding.
She just kept saying he couldn’t afford the hospital. He started talking crap to me, and I threatened him, but I never hurt anyone. It was all suspicious from the jump, especially since she just promised she wouldn’t have him alone in her room anymore. She texted me afterward, admitting she messed up by not telling me, but she wasn’t sorry for it.
I broke up with her right then and there. Thing is, she has a habit of lying to me. Every time I’ve broken up with her before, she crawled back, begging, acting like she changed. But this time, I’m just drained.
I’ve only been eating once a day for the last month because of the depression she caused me. I don’t even know what to eat or how to work anymore. How do I move on and heal? The community had plenty to say.
One commenter, who recently recovered from broken ribs, said, “You know what you don’t do? Drive, cuddle, or move in any direction because it hurts. Walk away. She’s a terrible person and a bad liar.
” Another said, “I fell out of a tree as a kid and bruised my ribs and could barely do anything. No way he was moving around and cuddling if he was actually that injured. ”
Someone else just said, “She’s not your girlfriend. ” I replied, “Obviously not anymore, since I’m done with her.
”
The comments kept coming: “Ah yes, the best treatment for internal injuries is cozying up under the covers. What a joke. You dodged a bullet, OP. But I feel like the first time you broke up with her should’ve been the last.
Go treat yourself to a decent meal. You deserve it more than she deserved your patience. ”
That story hit home for a lot of people, and the next one hit even harder. My wife of eight years cheated on me while working overseas.
We have a nice home and three great children. While she was away, I worked full-time and took care of the kids. She confessed the incident three weeks after getting back. She said she was lonely and felt ostracized, so she got drunk, and a colleague gave her an ultimatum: put out to keep his friendship.
She gave in. She apologized a lot, but I can’t come to terms with the fact that she not only cheated but also put my health at risk by having sex with me for three weeks before telling me. I keep replaying the images in my head on repeat. I can’t sleep.
When we first met, she had no baggage from previous relationships. I spent years assuring her I’d never leave her. I’m a good man. I cook, clean, and support her hobbies.
I’m logical—when bad things happen, I review my actions, adjust, and move forward. But I don’t think I could’ve been better, yet it feels like I must have done something wrong. Update: She got tested and we’ll have the results Wednesday. She said she spent the last three weeks trying to get tested without me knowing, and she originally planned to tell me after getting results.
Then came the bigger confession. After I asked her to tell me everything that happened while she was away, she admitted she cheated with another man at first. This one was already her friend, and she wasn’t drunk. She continued talking to this colleague for a week after she got back.
She said she didn’t love him and wasn’t trying to start a relationship, but her actions didn’t match her words. I’m done entertaining any idea of reconciliation. I’m looking for a lawyer. I plan on taking all the assets and as much custody of the children as I can manage.
The comments were brutal but clear: “What a weak woman. You’re absolutely right to lawyer up and go full custody mode. She doesn’t deserve to be the parent in charge when she treats you and her family like that. ” Another added, “This is a huge lesson in not trying to help people who don’t want help.
The only baggage you should be dealing with is whatever she leaves behind when she moves out. ”
The next story was a different kind of betrayal, but just as painful. Today, my boyfriend of a few months confessed that he had sex with his girl best friend three days ago. They reconnected about a week ago after he distanced himself from her because she couldn’t respect his boundaries.
I was upset about them reconnecting because she never made an effort to meet me, and I felt like he was keeping us apart on purpose. He was so sweet. He got to know my family and acted like he was going to marry me. Now I feel like an idiot because the red flags were so obvious.
I just moved out of town a week ago to start university, and two weeks ago I was told I might have a chronic illness. I’m on a waiting list to get checked out, and he even came with me to the appointment. I don’t know what to do. I feel isolated and alone.
His friends and him are begging me to take him back because he loves me, but I don’t believe he’d do this if he did. Update: After a long call with him playing the victim and begging, I hung up, told him to go f himself, and blocked him. Then I unblocked him long enough to get the money back for the expensive stuff I got him for National Boyfriend’s Day, and I had him send my things back. Once he did, I told him to f off again and blocked him for good.
He found a way to contact me on Instagram, but I blocked him there too. Now he’s blocked everywhere, and I feel a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders. He even found this post and is upvoting the comments against him. The audacity.
Looking back, the red flags were everywhere. He’d trash-talk her to me, saying she took him to expensive restaurants and embarrassed him. He’d say weird things like, “She’s the girl you should be worried about,” and sent me a picture of them captioned “Looks like we’re married,” calling them jokes. On his birthday, she posted an old cuddling photo, and he reposted it right after posting a picture of us, ignoring how upset I was because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
He even had both me and her as his lock screen, which I found weird but stayed quiet about to avoid seeming controlling. He only removed her once someone asked if she was his girlfriend. He always made excuses for why I couldn’t meet her, saying she was awkward or didn’t like meeting people, only for me to find out she’d met all his other friends. When he cut her off, she’d call him in the middle of the night to pick her up.
I told him it made me uncomfortable, and he told her to stop, but she got defensive and angry. Then he reconnected with her anyway, completely disregarding my feelings, saying he cared for her like a sister and that I was the most important woman in his life. I believed him naively. He was manipulative in other ways too.
Whenever I was upset, he’d bring up his mental struggles and financial issues, and I’d feel bad and drop it. He recently got diagnosed with ADHD, so now he blames that for everything. Whenever we argued, he’d say it was because I was too argumentative. Even the start of our relationship was a red flag.
He didn’t want to date me because I was underage—I was 17, he was 19, legal in my country but still underage—yet he was perfectly fine sending me sexual messages. I was vulnerable when we met, fresh off being ghosted by a close friend, and desperate for anyone to show me love. He’s done even worse things, but some are too personal to share. I think he resented me because I go to one of the top three universities in the world, and he probably worried I’d meet someone better.
So he tried to control me while I felt alone and vulnerable. One commenter said it best: “If I had a nickel for every guy who says ‘No, you don’t understand, she’s just my best friend,’ only to turn around and do very non-sibling activities…” Another said, “The fact that he found your post and is upvoting comments against himself—the delusion is real. Also, if you’re at one of the top three universities, maybe check the grammar class, because you keep writing run-on sentences. ”
But honestly, I’m learning from my mistakes now.
I’m going to focus on loving myself and healing, both mentally and physically, before I start any romantic relationship with anyone again.
