When her husband, the Alpha King, told her she needed rest, she knew it was exile. After five years of marriage without an heir, the court whispered that she was barren. They escorted her, the queen, into a carriage and sent her away, supposedly for her health. But after days of travel down roads that turned from stone to dirt, she arrived not at a country estate but at a ruin.
Crumbled walls, a roof full of holes, and vegetation tearing the place apart. Her lady-in-waiting, Susan, made a sound like a wounded animal. But Pandra stared at the crumbling manor and smiled. This was her husband, Godrick, telling her exactly what she was worth to him now.
The manor looked like something that had died and been left to rot. Pandra stood in what was left of the courtyard and took it all in. It was the ugliest thing she had ever seen. Behind her, Susan’s voice trembled.
“This is no place for royalty. There must be some mistake. ”
Pandra snorted, unladylike and sharp. This was no mistake.
Pandra was the Alpha King’s third queen. The first had died in childbirth. The second had vanished mysteriously after eight years of failed pregnancies. Both had been shifters, strong and powerful like the king.
Pandra was human. “Susan, leave the poor guard alone. He has a long journey back. ” She waved the guard away dismissively.
“You may go. ”
“Your Majesty, you cannot possibly suggest we stay here. It is unbecoming of a queen. ”
The entrance hall was a disaster.
Rotting floorboards bent under their weight. Mold crept up the walls. “There are rats,” Susan whined. “Probably,” Pandra agreed.
She held up a hand. “But Susan, do you hear that? ”
“I… no, what? ”
“That’s the sound of freedom.
No gossiping courtiers, no side-eyeing mistresses, and most importantly…” She grasped Susan by the shoulders. “No matrimonial duty. ”
Five years of performing in the dark. Five years of lying still while Godrick tried to get an heir out of her like she was a broodmare.
Five years of feeling like a failure every single month. “I don’t even have to pretend to care about what he has to say,” Pandra said, overjoyed. “Or wear corsets for him. ”
“That’s all good and well,” Susan grunted.
“But what will we do when winter strikes? What about food? ”
“We’ll figure it out. What matters is that no one’s telling us what to do.
This place is ours. ”
They explored the wreckage. The west wing had collapsed. The grand staircase was rotted through.
Water had pooled into the kitchens, turning the floor into a marsh of broken pottery and rusted metal. Finally, on the east side, they found a smaller room. Four walls that felt solid enough. A ceiling with only one small hole in the corner.
A fireplace that was intact. “This will work,” Pandra said, hope flaring. Susan surveyed it with despair. “My lady, this is a servant’s room.
”
“And I,” Pandra said cheerfully, “am currently a servant to no one. Perfect fit. ”
They set to work. Susan found a half-rotted broom and swept out the debris while Pandra gathered armfuls of straw from what used to be a stable.
The window was a tougher problem. They used a rock as a hammer and some rusty nails to pin Susan’s cloak over it. Susan drove the nails in with surprising efficiency. “Your late husband taught you this?
” Pandra asked, holding the corner steady. “He used to let me help him with small projects. Said I had good hands. ”
That night, Pandra lay on the floor with her cloak bunched under her head.
No silk sheets. No swan-feather pillows. Only rock-hard floor and the whistling wind. And yet she couldn’t stop smiling.
She hadn’t known what freedom felt like until today. If it weren’t for that strange moaning, everything would have been perfect. Pandra’s eyes snapped open. Wait, moaning?
She held her breath, listening. The house creaked. An owl hooted. The wind wheezed through the broken windows.
Then, a moan. Low and pained. Pandra’s heart kicked hard against her ribs. She turned her head slowly toward Susan, who was snoring softly.
Pandra lit their salvaged candle with the dying embers of the fire. She took a deep breath and opened the door. The hinges screamed, and she froze. Nothing.
Susan could sleep through an earthquake. Pandra stepped into the corridor, candle held high. This is exactly how people die in stories. The darkness was all-consuming.
Doors hung open on either side like hungry mouths. She walked slowly, following the invisible trail of the moan. Every instinct screamed at her to go back, but she kept walking. Another moan.
Closer now. Definitely coming from deeper in the house. “Hello? Is someone there?
” Silence. She stepped forward, then forward again. “My lady? ” Pandra jumped, nearly dropping the candle.
She spun around. Susan stood in the doorway, eyes bleary with sleep. “Is something the matter? ”
Pandra opened her mouth to answer, stopped, listened.
Nothing. Just the wind in the walls. Had she imagined it? The following day, Pandra’s feet teetered precariously on a creaking wooden beam.
“My lady, get down from there! You’ll break your neck. What will I tell His Majesty? ” Susan’s voice had reached a worrying pitch.
“Tell him I died happy far away from him. ” Pandra stuffed a handful of thatch into a gap in the roof. “You already do the hunting. You have to let me do something.
”
As a shifter, a swift fox, Susan was infinitely better at catching food than Pandra, whose one attempt at using a bow at court had resulted in the near murder of a servant. “You can collect berries! ” Susan shouted up. “What am I, five?
” Pandra was frustrated that just because she couldn’t shift into something with claws and fangs, she was treated as if she were weaker. Weaker didn’t mean incapable. “I’m coming, my lady. ” Pandra could hear Susan cursing as she found footholds in the crumbling wall.
That’s when Pandra’s foot slipped. For one heart-stopping second, she felt herself falling, arms windmilling, the ground rushing up. Her hand snagged the beam. She hung there, gasping.
“I’m fine! ” she shouted. Susan appeared over the edge of the roof, face pale. “You are absolutely not fine.
” She grabbed Pandra’s arm and hauled her up onto a more stable section. “The king should be ashamed of himself, putting you in such danger. ”
“The king doesn’t value a woman who can’t bear him children,” Pandra cut in. “My lady, how can you say that?
You’re the queen. ”
“I’m the third queen. Nothing that special. My uncle got a fat dowry.
The king got a wife to parade around until she failed him, too. And I got a gilded cage. ” Pandra smiled wearily. “Come on, let’s figure out what else needs fixing.
”
Susan left to hunt in the late afternoon, shifting into her fox form and disappearing into the trees. Pandra went berry hunting. She found some mushrooms, the kind she recognized from the palace kitchens, and gathered them in her skirt, feeling ridiculously proud of herself. By the time Susan returned with a cleaned rabbit, Pandra had a small pile of mushrooms and some wild onions.
“Not bad for the first day,” Pandra said. “We make a decent team, my lady. ”
They cooked the meat over the fire, primitive and smoky, probably ruining it in six different ways, but it tasted amazing. Pandra ate with her fingers, grease running down her chin, and didn’t care even a little bit.
They were finishing up when the moan came. Low, pained, unmistakable. Susan’s head snapped up. “What was that?
”
“You heard it? ”
Susan stood, eyes darting toward the door. “It doesn’t sound like an animal. ”
Another moan, louder this time, closer.
“It came from above. Above the kitchens, maybe? ”
They grabbed a candle each and tiptoed down the dark hallways. The stairs to the upper floor were treacherous, half-rotted.
The room above the kitchens was empty. Dust thick on the floor. No footprints except theirs. But they could still hear it.
Closer now. From the wall. Susan made a noise of pure distress. “My lady, if someone is hiding in the walls, they probably don’t want to be found.
”
“Then they shouldn’t moan so loudly. ” Pandra pressed her hands against the wall, exploring the paneling. “My lady, please. Can we not retire to our chambers, secure ourselves more, and explore tomorrow?
”
Pandra turned to face her. “Perhaps you’re right. Safety first. ”
They spent the rest of the evening boarding up windows and reinforcing the door to their room.
That night, Susan fell asleep quickly, but Pandra lay awake, staring at the ceiling. When the noise came again, it wasn’t a moan. Something was moving. Pandra lit a candle, stood, and returned to the floor above the kitchen.
The sound was coming from the same wall. She pressed her ear against the stone. She could hear breathing, slow and labored, right there on the other side. Her fingers found a gap in the paneling, barely visible in the candlelight.
She pressed, and the panel shifted. A secret door. She thought of Susan, still snoring. She should absolutely not investigate a hidden passage alone in the dark.
She held the candle high and started climbing. At the top, the stairs opened into a small room hidden between floors. A loud groan at her feet. Pandra gasped and looked down.
A man lay on the floor, half veiled in shadow. His clothes were torn and stained dark with something that looked horribly like blood. His eyes were open but unfocused, glassy with fever. Pandra took a careful step forward.
He was in his mid-forties, dark hair plastered to his forehead with sweat. She pressed the back of her hand to his forehead. Burning. Black veins were visible beneath the skin of his neck, spreading across his chest in twisted patterns.
She stood quickly. He might be a squatter, but he was dying. She couldn’t let that happen. She ran back down the hidden stairs and burst into the bedroom, breathless and wild-eyed.
“Susan, there’s someone upstairs, a man. He’s—” The words died in her throat. A tall, broad-shouldered stranger stood behind Susan in the center of the room, one hand clamped firmly over her mouth as she thrashed against him. And there were others.
A woman in her fifties with gray-streaked hair and steady hands. A young girl, early twenties, leaning against the far wall with a knife held loosely in one hand. Pandra barely had time to register the spike of fear before she was yanked backward off her feet, pressed against a broad chest. The candle fell from her hands, dying on the stone floor.
“Where is he? ” The voice was low in her ear, rough with controlled urgency. Pandra didn’t think. She drove her elbow back hard into her attacker’s stomach, aiming for the soft spot below the ribs.
His grip loosened, barely. “Not a bad hit,” the man said against her ear. He held her effortlessly. Shifter, she thought.
The strength gave it away. “I asked you about our friend. ”
“Go fish,” Pandra snapped. After five years as the Alpha King’s wife, little could scare her.
Her captor twisted her around firmly until they stood face to face. He was tall. She had to tilt her head back to meet his eyes. Sharp cheekbones, a noble bearing, tempered by the outdoors, and eyes pale green and intelligent.
“We know he’s in one of the secret passages,” he said. “Which one? ”
Pandra held his gaze. “If I show you, will you get out of here?
”
He smiled. “The sooner we find our friend, the sooner we leave. ”
Susan’s gaze met hers from across the room, communicating don’t trust them. But what choice did they have?
“Don’t hurt Susan,” Pandra said. “You have my word,” the man said. She led them all upstairs to the wall with the panel and pressed the mechanism, revealing the narrow passage. At the top, the older woman pushed past Pandra and went to the sick man.
“Kalnor! He’s burning up. Nolrick, we need to give it to him right now. ”
Pandra went still.
Nolrick. She knew that name. The alpha of the rogue pack terrorizing the countryside. Nolrick, who’d been stealing from royal shipments and freeing prisoners from work camps.
Nolrick, who her husband wanted caught and executed more than anything. Nolrick fished a small vial filled with dark, viscous liquid from his pocket. “What is that? Poison?
” Pandra asked, affronted. Nolrick glanced at her with amusement. “What’s it to you? ”
“I’m not letting you hurt an innocent man in my house,” she snapped.
“And how do you even know he’s innocent? He could be a murderer for all you know. ”
Pandra crossed her arms. “Is he?
”
Nolrick smiled, brief and genuine. “No. ” He held up the vial. “And it’s not poison.
This man’s been poisoned already. This is the antidote. ”
Pandra blinked, processing. Three weeks ago, she’d been passing her husband’s study when she’d overheard him with the palace alchemist.
“The poison is revolutionary,” the alchemist had said. “It targets the shifter metabolism specifically. Excruciatingly painful and nearly impossible to cure without the exact antidote. ” Her husband had laughed, like the idea of a slow, painful death was delightful.
Looking at the black veins spreading across Kalnor’s skin, she said, “Fine. ”
Nolrick uncorked the vial with his teeth and placed it to Kalnor’s lips. For a horrible moment, Pandra thought they were too late. Then his throat worked, swallowing reflexively.
When the vial was empty, Nolrick stood. “I guess we’ll be off. ”
“Don’t move him,” Pandra’s words burst out. Five pairs of eyes turned to stare at her.
Nolrick raised his eyebrows. “Excuse me? ”
Pandra’s mind raced back to the overheard conversation. The alchemist had been very specific.
If anyone is poisoned and you wish to save them, administer the antidote immediately. But do not move them for at least a week. The antidote needs time to circulate to the heart properly. Any movement will disrupt the process and the patient will die anyway, just slower.
“It won’t work if you move him. He needs to stay still. The marks need to be all gone first. ” She pointed at Kalnor’s neck.
“How do you know that? ” Nolrick’s voice was charged with suspicion, and Pandra felt a thrill of danger. These were shifters being hunted by her husband. Telling them she was the king’s wife would not go well.
She tried to sound casual. “I’ve seen this poison before. ”
Nolrick watched her for a long moment, then shrugged. “Well, can’t argue with that.
”
“Of course we can argue with that,” the older woman, Aster, rounded on him. “It’s not safe here. ”
“Safer than moving him however long it takes to get to your camp,” Pandra interjected. Aster whirled on her, eyes flashing gold.
“You don’t know anything. ”
“I know that’s just good sense. ”
Nolrick threw up his hands in mock surrender. “All right.
Since the lady so graciously offers, we will stay here. ”
Pandra blinked. “Wait a minute, I—” “Thank you for your hospitality, my lady. ” Nolrick bowed mockingly, a perfectly executed bow.
For that moment, he looked like someone who should be parading through palace halls in silk, not standing here in dirty, torn clothes. “Dray,” he pointed at Susan’s captor. “Escort the lady and her companion to a secure room. ”
Both she and Susan ended up in a back room with boarded-up windows.
Pandra wanted to kick the door until her toes broke. Instead, she just stood there, shaking slightly. Two days locked in that room, and Pandra was losing her mind. “You need to sit down, my lady,” Susan said.
“Wearing a hole in the floor won’t get us out of here. ”
“I can’t. I can’t just sit here doing nothing while they take over my house. ” She was being locked in again.
It was too familiar, too close to the five years she’d just escaped. Her husband had never locked her in rooms, but he’d controlled her, made her feel like a thing he owned. And now, just when she’d finally tasted freedom, it was being taken away again. “We should just wait it out,” Susan said gently.
“No. We need to prove that we’re worth keeping alive. ” Pandra moved to the window. “Think about it, Susan.
If I’d proven useful to His Majesty, he wouldn’t have sent me here. ”
“My lady—” Susan’s voice was strange. Pandra turned. “I don’t regret being sent away.
I’m glad. ”
Susan grimaced. “No, my lady,” she whispered. “I was going to say most of these rogues are shifters, and shifters have excellent hearing.
”
Pandra’s stomach dropped. “You’re right. We have to be careful. ”
Just then, the lock clicked.
The door swung open. It was the sandy-haired rogue from before, the young one. “How’s the patient? ” Pandra asked.
“Fine,” the rogue shrugged. He was clearly lying. “Susan is good with herbs,” Pandra said. “And I’ve seen this poison at work before.
If you take us to him, we can help. ”
The rogue said nothing, but something in his eyes turned considering. After a long moment, he turned and left. “I guess that’s a no,” Susan sighed.
“It’s a he can’t decide for himself,” Pandra said. “He’ll be checking in with his alpha. So now we wait. ”
Night had fallen when they finally heard footsteps again.
Heavier, more confident. “May I come in? ” Nolrick’s voice came through the door. “Does it matter?
When you’ve taken over my house? ” Pandra called back. Nolrick stepped inside, looking tired. “How did this even come to be your house?
It’s been in shambles for years. ”
“Long story, and I don’t think you have time. ”
Nolrick opened his mouth like he wanted to protest, then closed it again because she was right. “Apparently you’re good with herbs,” he said.
“Susan is. I can help her and monitor your patient’s condition. ”
Nolrick looked at her for a long moment, eyes sharp despite the fatigue. “Fine.
Aster will stay with you. ”
As they walked through the manor, Pandra’s eyes were everywhere. People moved through the halls with purpose. A woman carrying water, two men sharpening weapons.
“How many of you are there? ” Pandra asked. “Don’t concern yourself with that, my lady. ”
“It’s my home.
”
“You do seem unusually fond of this ruin,” Nolrick observed. “Well, I don’t see you preferring the woods to it,” Pandra snapped. Nolrick nodded, conceding the point. “Fair.
I too prefer this hole-filled roof and the rats over the damp, moss-filled woods. ”
Something hot flared in Pandra’s chest. “Well, sir. From where I stand, it looks like entitlement, plenty.
Gratitude, zero. ”
Nolrick stared at her for a beat. “You’re right. I’m grateful for your hospitality.
”
They arrived at the small hidden room where Kalnor lay. Aster sat beside him, looking pale and exhausted. “What are they doing here? ” she demanded.
Nolrick moved to stand beside her. “Hopefully relieving you a bit. You look like you need rest. ”
“I’m fine,” Aster snapped automatically.
Nolrick crouched down to her level. “You’re exhausted, kid. Go lie down. ” His hand touched Aster’s shoulder briefly.
Her eyes widened immediately, and a flush spread across her cheeks. The girl definitely had a crush on her leader. Susan moved immediately to Kalnor’s side, professional and focused. “His fever is still running high.
And yet you haven’t been giving him water? ” She gestured at his dry, cracked lips. “He needs to stay hydrated. ”
Nolrick nodded.
“I’ll have someone bring you water more regularly. What else? ” Susan launched into a list. Cool cloths.
Herbs made into tea. They got to work. At one point, Pandra felt her stomach turn. “You all right, my lady?
” Susan asked. “Fine. Just the smell. ”
Susan glanced at her then.
“Might be pregnant, my lady. I remember my sister hated this smell when she was with child. ”
The words hung in the air until Pandra laughed, sharp and dismissive. They went back to work.
But in the back of Pandra’s mind, a small seed of awareness had been planted. My courses are late. Ten days passed. Ten days of Susan fussing over Kalnor like a mother hen while he grumbled that he was fine.
“You need to drink more water,” Susan would say. “I’m not a plant, woman. I don’t need watering every hour. ” It went on and on until all Pandra could do was escape.
That morning, she escaped towards the kitchen. She pushed through the door, expecting to find Dray preparing the evening meal. Instead, she found Nolrick slumped in the corner, fast asleep. She’d never seen him not handling six problems at once.
She moved quietly to the water barrel. Nolrick jerked upright with a gasp, eyes flying open. “Lena! ” he gasped.
He blinked rapidly, caught somewhere between nightmare and reality. “Well,” Pandra said into the heavy silence. “I guess Lena left quite an impression. ”
Nolrick’s eyes snapped to her face, awareness flooding back.
He cleared his throat, color rising to his cheeks. “What are you doing here? ”
“Getting a drink. You asked for a drink,” Pandra said.
She tossed the water in his face. Nolrick blinked. “Did you just—” “You just didn’t specify how you wanted it. ” Pandra fought to keep her expression innocent.
Nolrick stared at her for another beat. “Fair enough,” he grinned. Another week passed, and Kalnor was well enough to walk a few steps without falling over. That was when Pandra decided to confront his alpha.
“So, when are you leaving my house? ” she asked, entering a room she’d been told she’d find Nolrick in. Then she froze. He was indeed there, but he was also shirtless, one hand stretching over his shoulder toward a large gash down his spine his fingers couldn’t quite reach.
“Eager to be rid of me, my lady? ” he asked. “Keep flapping your hand at it. That’ll sort it right out.
”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were enjoying spying on a naked man. ”
“Well, thank the gods you know better then,” Pandra said, trying absurdly hard not to enjoy the view. She gestured for him to turn around. “Let me see.
”
“It’s nothing,” Nolrick grunted. “Then you won’t mind me checking. ” Pandra touched his arm. Nolrick went very still, like her hand had short-circuited his brain.
“Turn around,” Pandra said quietly. He did. The wound was worse than she’d expected, a slash from shoulder blade to mid-back. “What happened?
”
“The king’s guards happened. They burned down an entire village for helping us, set fire to everything and watched it burn. ”
Pandra’s fingers stilled on his back. “Perhaps you shouldn’t stand up to the king, then,” she suggested softly.
Nolrick’s head snapped around, eyes flashing gold. “And let him terrorize his people? Destroy villages and burn children alive? All because he’s a greedy, paranoid bastard?
”
“So, you admit removing the king from the throne is your goal? ”
“Never hid it. ” Nolrick turned fully, searching her face. “Isn’t that why you fled court?
Because of him? ”
Pandra felt stunned. “I— I didn’t—” “It’s obvious you’re a noble. You give orders like you expect people to follow them.
And this ruin belongs to the crown. Only nobles get crown property. ”
Pandra hesitated. “I didn’t flee.
I was exiled. ”
“Because of your baby? ” Nolrick asked. Pandra’s hand flew to her belly.
“What do you mean? ” she snapped. Nolrick frowned. “You’re with child, I assumed.
” He searched her gaze. “You didn’t know,” he realized. Pandra turned to leave. She needed to get away from this conversation and this beautiful, half-naked man.
She made it two steps before Nolrick caught her wrist. “Let go,” Pandra said through clenched teeth. “It’s normal to be scared. You’re here, pregnant, alone.
”
“I’m not alone,” Pandra said sharply, finally meeting his eyes. There was a kindness in his expression that made her breath catch. Nolrick’s gaze dropped from her eyes to her mouth, lingered there. He leaned in, head tilting, and Pandra’s eyes started to close.
“Nolrick! ” Pandra jerked backward. Nolrick dropped her wrist. Aster stood in the doorway, glaring at them.
“Aster,” Nolrick said, stepping away smoothly. “What are you doing? ”
Pandra refrained from rolling her eyes, barely. “He needs a healer.
I’ll get Susan. ” She pushed past Aster, not trusting herself to look at either of them with her heart still racing and her skin still warm where he’d touched her. With an outlaw, a man actively working to overthrow her husband. “Perfect,” she thought grimly.
“Just perfect. ”
“Pregnant. I knew it. ” Susan exclaimed.
“Shh. ” Pandra hissed, looking around the forest wildly. They’d fled deep into the woods so Pandra could tell Susan without the entire crew overhearing. Susan grabbed her hands.
“But, my lady, this means it’s the king’s, isn’t it? ”
Pandra nodded. After five years of failure, when she was farther from him than she’d ever been, she was finally carrying what he wanted. The irony was not lost on her.
“If it’s a boy, he’ll take you back,” Susan squealed, her face bright with hope. “No. ” The word exploded out of Pandra, loud enough to startle birds from nearby trees. He’d take her child away.
He’d make him his son, his heir, mold him into a perfect copy of himself. “I won’t go back,” Pandra said grimly. “My lady, Nolrick says he’ll help—” “Nolrick is an enemy of the crown,” Susan whispered. “But not of the people.
I think they want to do good, don’t you? ” She’d watched them over the past three weeks, how they treated each other with genuine respect. Nolrick made decisions not based on what benefited him, but on what kept his people safe. The polar opposite of the king.
Susan hesitated. “Just remember, sometimes good intentions lead to terrible consequences. ”
Later, Pandra sat in her room and pressed both hands to her still-flat stomach. “What am I supposed to do with you?
” she whispered to the maybe-baby. No answer came. The celebration took place a few weeks later. The crew was in high spirits after a successful supply run.
Laughter echoed through the great hall. But after an hour of standing against the wall like furniture, Pandra slipped out. The hallway was cooler, quieter. She rounded a corner and bumped into Nolrick.
His strong hands caught her shoulders, steadying her. “Fancy meeting you here? ” he joked. Pandra’s traitorous heart jumped.
He looked good, shirt open at the collar. “Yes. Running into me in my own home. ”
“What a coincidence.
” Nolrick’s smile faltered slightly. “Are you still so eager for us to leave? ”
“No,” Pandra said quietly. “I’m not so eager for you to leave.
” Their eyes met, held. “Especially as you’ve been so dedicated to looking after me. ”
“I told you I would, didn’t I? ”
“Right.
Your responsibility. ”
“How could I forget? ”
“You don’t need to. This isn’t even your baby.
You don’t owe me anything. ”
“Then whose is it? ” Nolrick’s eyes suddenly intense. “It’s mine.
And the father, where is he? It doesn’t matter,” she muttered. “Doesn’t matter? How can it not matter?
Do you even know who it is? ” Pandra jerked back. Nolrick’s hands held her in place. “My husband,” she snapped.
“My husband is the father. Happy now? ”
Silence crashed over them. “You’re married,” Nolrick said.
“And what is it to you? You know what I wonder about? How you’re so well versed in courtly matters. How you bow like you were trained for it since childhood.
How you recognized this house belongs to the crown when it’s been abandoned for years? ” She tilted her head. “Who are you exactly, Nolrick? ”
“And what is it to you?
” he said, throwing her own words back at her. “Forget it,” she said, turning away. Nolrick caught her arm. “If you lost him, if he’s been captured or you don’t know where he is, I could help you find your husband.
I have contacts, resources. ”
Something broke in Pandra’s chest. “That is very noble of you, sir,” she said, her voice shaking, “but I would rather die than see that man again. ”
Nolrick’s expression changed.
“Pandra, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. ” He reached for her hand. She tried to pull away.
He pulled her toward him instead. Pandra stumbled forward, hands landing on his chest for balance. She looked up, meaning to tell him to leave her alone. Then Nolrick kissed her.
It wasn’t tentative. Pandra froze for half a heartbeat, then her hands fisted in his shirt, pulling him closer, and felt Nolrick smile against her mouth before deepening the kiss. “Come with me,” he said quietly. “Where?
” Pandra’s heart was still racing. “Anywhere that’s not here. ” He glanced toward the party. “Before someone interrupts.
”
The forest was dark and cool, the sounds of celebration fading behind them. Nolrick pulled her deeper into the trees. Then he turned and kissed her again. Pandra went willingly into his arms.
He lifted her slightly, pressing her back against a tree. His mouth moved over hers with increasing urgency. “Are you embarrassed? ” Pandra asked when they broke for air.
“About being seen with me? ”
Nolrick pulled back slightly to look at her. “A little bit,” he admitted. The honesty stung.
“Then maybe I should leave,” Pandra said, starting to pull away. His arms tightened, holding her in place. “Absolutely not. ” He kissed her neck just below her ear.
“Wouldn’t you be embarrassed if Susan found us like this? ”
Pandra snorted. “I suppose, though she’d be more embarrassed than I am. ” She broke off on a gasp as Nolrick’s teeth scraped lightly over her pulse point.
“Would you be embarrassed if your husband found us? ”
Pandra cupped his face with both hands. “To be honest, I don’t consider him my husband anymore. I don’t care what he thinks.
” Nolrick’s entire body relaxed against hers. “So you can stop being jealous,” Pandra added, smiling. “Jealous? I’m not—” Pandra kissed him to shut him up.
It was supposed to be brief, teasing, but Nolrick made a sound low in his throat and deepened it. He walked her backward until her back hit the tree again. “Nolrick. ” She breathed against his mouth.
He pulled back just enough to meet her eyes. Dark. Wanting. “Yes,” Pandra whispered.
Something in him gave way. It was nothing like her marriage bed. This was heat and connection and Nolrick’s voice rough in her ear saying her name. The next two weeks passed in a haze of stolen moments.
Pandra would slip away to gather herbs in the forest. Nolrick would follow five minutes later and breathe her in like a drowning man finding air. “We shouldn’t,” Pandra would murmur against his mouth. “Probably not,” he’d agree, already kissing her.
Life at the manor had settled into something almost comfortable. Pandra was becoming part of something, part of them. She was in the kitchen one afternoon helping Claudia prepare the evening meal when Aster walked in. The younger woman’s expression was strange, triumphant and cold at once.
“Who are you really? ” she demanded. Pandra frowned. “Excuse me?
”
Aster pulled something from her pocket, a piece of parchment she thrust toward Pandra. “I found this in the village. Royal proclamation. Complete with a portrait.
” Pandra’s blood turned to ice. “Queen Pandra, third wife of His Majesty King Godric, has been sent to her country estate for her health and rest. Any assistance rendered to Her Majesty will be rewarded by the Crown. ”
The room went quiet.
“It’s not what it looks like,” Pandra attempted, hands shaking. Footsteps thundered in the hallway. Within seconds, the kitchen filled with people. Dray, Kalnor, others drawn by raised voices.
“What’s going on? ” Kalnor asked. Aster handed him the parchment. Pandra watched him read it.
His jaw tightened. “Pandra? Is this true? ”
“Yes,” she said quietly.
The room exploded. “You were married to the king? ” Dray’s voice rose. “While we starved—” “You could have helped us.
” This came from Kalnor, and the quiet devastation in his voice hit harder than any shouted accusation. “All this time, you were the queen. ”
Pandra’s vision blurred. Her chest felt tight.
“You don’t understand. I couldn’t—” “Couldn’t,” Aster asked, “or wouldn’t? ”
“I didn’t have any real power. I was there to give him an heir, that’s all.
”
“Just living in luxury while people died? ” Aster stepped even closer. “My mother died because we couldn’t afford medicine. Medicine that was sitting in your palace stores.
”
“I didn’t know,” Pandra tried. “You didn’t look! ” Aster shouted, and the accusation echoed off the kitchen walls. The words hit like knives, all the sharper because Pandra knew them to be true.
She hadn’t looked. She’d been a badly treated wife, but she’d also been a queen, and she hadn’t helped her people. “And now you come here, pregnant with his heir. And what are we supposed to do?
Feel sorry for you? Protect you? ”
“The baby,” Dray said slowly. “The king’s baby.
What’s she planning? To go back to him? To sell us out for a place in his bed again? ”
Pandra felt like she was drowning.
“Quiet. ” The voice cracked through the room like a whip. Nolrick. Pandra’s head snapped up.
He stood in the doorway, travel-worn and dusty from the road. His expression was unreadable. Carefully, deliberately blank. Their eyes met across the crowded kitchen, and Pandra felt her heart crack.
Aster pushed past her, moving toward Nolrick with desperate urgency. “You heard that, right? She’s not one of us. She’s a noble.
Not just a noble, the queen. You’re so compromised you can’t see? ”
“Enough, Aster,” Nolrick said, but there was no heat in it, just exhaustion. “No.
I’ve watched you trail after her for weeks. She’s got you eating out of the palm of her hand. Probably so she can sell you out to the king as soon as—” “That’s not true,” Pandra snapped, taking a step forward. “Shut it!
” Aster whirled on her. “We need a leader who’s focused on what matters, not on whatever distraction the queen’s skirts provide. ” Nolrick flinched. Aster turned back to him, her voice softening.
“You always do what’s right, Nolrick. You’ll do what’s right now. For us. For the people who need you.
” Then she left, and the others did, too. Suddenly Pandra and Nolrick were alone. He looked so deeply, profoundly sad that Pandra wanted to cross the room and hold him. “I wouldn’t sell you out to him,” Pandra said finally.
“I know. ”
“I hate him. I hate my husband. ”
Nolrick looked away, jaw tight.
“Five years,” Pandra said. “I was married to him for five years. I couldn’t give him an heir, so he sent me here to humiliate me. To get rid of me.
”
“Why didn’t you tell me? ” Nolrick asked. “Because I was scared. Because you’re trying to overthrow my husband, and I thought you’d kill me or ransom me.
”
Nolrick’s head snapped around. “You really think I’d hurt you? ” he asked, wounded. “No.
I don’t. I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner. ”
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Nolrick said.
“Of course it matters. ”
“They don’t trust you. Which means they don’t trust me for keeping you here. For—” He swallowed.
“For being with you. ” The shame in his voice hit Pandra like a slap. “You’re allowed to have relationships. You’re allowed to want things.
”
“Want things? At a time like this? When no one in this entire kingdom is allowed to have anything? ” He turned away.
“Aster’s right. I can’t afford to be distracted. We’re leaving. Tomorrow, first light.
”
Pandra stumbled backward, hand reaching for the wall. “Don’t,” she said, and her voice came out so small. “I have to, Pandra. ” His voice shook.
She reached for him with both hands. “I’m asking you not to, because I—” “Don’t,” he said, turning away. “I love you! ” The words tore out of Pandra before she could stop them.
Nolrick froze. He turned around slowly, and the look on his face made Pandra want to die. “I don’t deserve you,” he said quietly. “What are you talking about?
” she asked, her voice hardening. “I’m sorry. I can’t make the wrong choice again. ” Then he walked away, leaving Pandra’s heart in pieces on the floor.
Six weeks passed. Pandra’s stomach grew. The baby made itself known with waves of nausea. The bump was undeniable, a constant reminder of the future she had to face alone.
At night, she’d remember the way he’d looked at her, the way his hands had felt against her skin. She’d wonder where he was. If he was safe. If he thought about her even half as much as she thought about him.
Then, one freezing evening in early winter when the first snow had started to fall, someone pounded on the door. Pandra’s heart leaped into her throat. And there he was. Nolrick stood on her doorstep, snow dusting his shoulders, that infuriating grin on his face as if he had never left.
“Fancy running into you here,” he said. Pandra stared. He looked terrible. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
And when their gazes met properly, the grin faltered. He deflated visibly. “Missed me? ” he joked, but his voice came out rough.
Pandra opened her mouth to say something cutting. Then she noticed the limp figure hanging between Nolrick and Dray’s shoulders. Aster. Her head lolled forward, hair plastered to her face with sweat.
Poisoned. “Inside. Quickly, bring her in,” Susan said immediately, pushing past Pandra. They carried Aster through the kitchen to the small room Pandra and Susan had been using.
“The antidote. Do you have it? ” Susan was saying. “I do,” Nolrick said quietly.
“Where? ” Pandra snapped. Nolrick met her gaze. The world narrowed to just them.
To those green eyes she’d dreamed about. Her heart skipped. “It’s right here,” he said. Pandra blinked.
“What? ” Nolrick held her gaze for another beat, then broke eye contact and strode out of the room without another word. A beat later, Pandra marched after him. “Why would you leave something so precious here?
” she exploded at his back. “Because I trust you,” Nolrick said. He stopped on the mezzanine landing and ran his hands over the stone. He found a loose stone and prized it from the wall.
From the hole behind it, he drew out a small vial filled with dark, viscous liquid. “You’re unbelievable,” Pandra said. “I know. And I’m sorry.
But right now I need—” “You need? It’s always what you need, isn’t it? ” She saw him flinch. “Well then, take what you need, I guess.
That’s what you’re good at. ” She made it three steps before he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “I hid it here because—” He hesitated. “Because one day I wanted an excuse to come back to see you.
”
Pandra stared at him. “At least you admit you need an excuse to see me. Like I’m some sort of guilty pleasure or something. ” She disappeared into a side bedroom and slammed the door shut, pressed her back against it, slid down until she was sitting on the floor, and cried.
By midnight, color had returned to Aster’s cheeks. Her fever had broken. In the small hours before dawn, Aster woke properly. Weak but conscious.
“Water,” she croaked. Pandra helped her drink as Nolrick appeared in the doorway. “How is she? ” he asked, his voice rough.
“Better,” Pandra said, looking away. “Good. Thank you for helping. Really, I—” He swayed suddenly, catching himself against the doorframe.
Pandra’s head snapped up. “Nolrick? ”
“I’m fine. Just tired?
”
He didn’t look fine. He looked gray. Pandra stood. “When did you last sleep?
” “I’m fine,” Nolrick repeated. He pushed off from the doorframe and took a step forward. His knees buckled. Pandra lunged across the room, catching him before he hit the floor.
“Nolrick! What’s wrong with you? ” she demanded, fear sharp in her voice. His skin was burning.
His eyes were unfocused. “Nothing,” he assured her, but the word came out slurred. “Just need rest. ”
Pandra looked down, scanning his body for injuries, and saw it.
A flash of black at his collar. Her breath stopped. Black veins spreading from his collarbone toward his heart. “It’s not as bad as it looks,” Nolrick managed.
“When? When did this happen? ” Pandra demanded. He looked away.
“Same ambush as Aster, I’m afraid. ”
Pandra grabbed his face with both hands. “You just decide your life matters less? ”
“I love you,” Nolrick murmured.
Pandra froze. “I love you,” he repeated. “I should have said it before. I should have—” His eyes rolled back.
“Nolrick! Susan, Dre, someone help! ”
They got him onto the bed beside Aster. His fever was worse than Astor’s had been.
“How long does he have? ” Pandra asked. Kalnor’s expression darkened. “Days, maybe less.
He pretended he wasn’t hit. Stupid bastard kept saying he was fine. ”
“There has to be more antidote,” Pandra said desperately. “That was the last of it.
We used everything we had left saving Aster,” Dre said quietly. “Then where do we get more? ” Pandra demanded, standing. “The king’s private stores at court.
That’s the only place. We used to have someone on the inside who could access them, but he was caught. We’d need weeks of reconnaissance to even attempt another infiltration, and—” “We don’t have weeks. I’ll go.
I’ll fetch the antidote from court. ”
Kalnor’s eyes widened. “My lady—” “I’m the queen,” Pandra said firmly. “I can walk through the front door.
”
“Who’s pregnant with the king’s heir? ” Susan said carefully. “The moment he sees you, he’ll never let you leave. ”
On the bed, Nolrick made a distressed sound.
“No,” he gasped, and his hand shot out, searching blindly until it found Pandra’s. His fever-bright eyes found hers. “Lena. Lena, don’t go.
He’ll kill you. I couldn’t stop him before, but I can—” His eyes rolled back. His hand went slack. Pandra stared at him, heart pounding in her ears.
“I’m going. And I’m bringing back that antidote. ”
“I’ll come with you. ” Aster sat up in bed, still pale but alert.
“The poison hadn’t been in my system as long as Kalnor’s when he was treated. I don’t need to stay put. ” She looked at Pandra steadily. “We’ll get the antidote.
”
A moment of silence fell over the room. “All right,” Pandra said finally. “Let’s go steal from the king. ” And for the first time since they’d met, Aster smiled at her.
Small and grim, but real. The palace looked exactly the same as when she’d left. Same marble columns, perfectly manicured gardens. But Pandra was different now.
And that made all the difference. “Your Majesty. ” The guards at the gate straightened, shocked. “Nobody informed us you were returning.
”
“His Majesty wanted it to be a surprise,” Pandra said smoothly, letting them see her stomach. Their expressions shifted from confusion to excitement. “I’ll have someone fetch His Majesty immediately,” one guard said, already turning. “No need,” Pandra said graciously.
“I’ll surprise him myself. ” She swept past them before they could protest, Aster trailing behind, playing the role of concerned midwife to perfection. She found the king in his study. Shock rippled across his face at the sight of her.
“Pandra. ” His eyes dropped to her stomach, widened. “You’re—” She let her hand rest on her belly and smiled beatifically. “I am.
”
He moved around the desk toward her. “Why didn’t you send word? I would have sent an escort. ” “I thought the news best delivered in person.
After so many years of disappointment. ” “This is— truly wonderful, Pandra. How far along? ” “Four months.
I wanted to be sure before returning. The first few months are delicate, as you know. I thought it best to rest in the peace and quiet you so generously provided. ” She smiled, making it sound like the exile had been a gift.
The king’s chest puffed. “Of course, you must be moved to my chambers immediately. Better security, better care. ” “That would be lovely.
Though I do have my midwife with me. She’s been invaluable. ” “Of course,” the king said, barely listening. Within the hour, Pandra’s meager belongings were being moved to the king’s wing of the palace, a part of the castle she’d never been allowed in during their marriage.
But now she was a valuable commodity. The king’s chambers were opulent. Gold leaf on the ceiling. Tapestries worth more than entire villages.
And on the wall opposite the bed, a portrait. Pandra stopped dead when she saw it. A woman. Young.
Beautiful. With dark hair, pale skin, familiar sharp cheekbones and sharp green eyes. She looked exactly like Nolrick. “Admiring your predecessor?
” The king stood in the doorway, holding a goblet of wine. “Who— Who is that? ” Pandra asked carefully. “Queen Adelina.
My first queen. ” Pandra looked at her green eyes. Could she be related to Nolrick? “She died in childbirth, they say,” she probed carefully.
“Ironic,” the king replied. “Three years she failed to conceive, and when she finally did, the birth killed her and the child. Weak constitution from poor blood. ”
“What about her family?
” Pandra asked, trying to keep her voice neutral. The king’s expression darkened. “Traitors, the lot of them. When Adelina died, they had the gall to accuse me of murder.
” He waved a hand dismissively. “Nonsense, of course. They were so grief-stricken they began plotting against the crown. ”
Pandra’s stomach turned.
Five years in court, and she could read who was lying like a textbook. Lina hadn’t died in childbirth, and her family had been right. The king had murdered her. “What did you do?
” she asked. “What I had to. Can’t have traitors plotting rebellion, can we? Her twin brother was the worst of them.
The Duke of Ashfolk. ”
Pandra felt the room tilt. “That’s the past,” the king said, moving towards her. “You’re the future now.
You and my son. ” Pandra forced herself not to pull away. That night, Pandra lay in the enormous bed, staring at Adelina’s portrait in the moonlight. Nolrick’s sister, murdered by the king for failing to produce an heir.
Just like Pandra would be if she didn’t escape. She had to get the antidote. Fast. According to Kalnor, the king kept his private medical stores locked in a room near his study.
The problem was getting the key off him. Pandra came up with a plan. She let three days pass to lull him into a false sense of security. On the fourth night, she sat across from the king at dinner.
“I feel strange,” she said quietly. She pressed a hand to her stomach. “Nauseous. And my head.
” The king frowned. “You were fine this morning. ” “I know. But now I feel—” She stood abruptly, swaying slightly.
“I feel—” She let her knees buckle. The king caught her before she hit the floor. “Pandra! Something’s wrong.
” “The baby. ” “Get the physician! ” the king roared at the servants. “Now!
” He carried her to the bed, laying her down with fear in his eyes. “My stomach. Burning! Like— like poison!
” The king’s face went white. “Poison? Someone must have—” “At dinner,” Pandra let tears stream down her face. “Please save the baby.
”
The king was already shouting orders. “Bring the antidote from my private stores. ” He fumbled with the key at his belt, thrust it at a servant. “In the study, the black vial.
Go! ” The servant ran. The king paced beside the bed. Pandra let herself shake, let herself look terrified.
The servant returned with the vial. The king snatched it, uncorked it, tilted it to Pandra’s lips himself. “Drink. All of it.
”
Pandra let the bitter liquid fill her mouth. She swallowed some, enough that he’d smell it on her breath if he checked. The rest she held in her cheeks, careful not to let it show. “Better?
” the king demanded. Pandra let her breathing slow. Steady. Nodded weakly.
“Rest,” the king said, standing. “I’ll have guards posted outside. ” He left. The moment the door closed, Pandra took an empty vial from her gown and spat the antidote into it.
Maybe half the dose. She hoped it was enough. At midnight, she slipped out of bed and moved silently to the servant’s door. Aster waited on the other side, dressed in dark traveling clothes.
Pandra handed her the vial. “It’s not the full dose, but it should be enough. ” Aster took it carefully. “It’ll have to be.
” She met Pandra’s eyes. “We’ll come back for you once he’s well. ” Pandra smiled. “Go before someone sees you.
” Aster disappeared into the dark hallway. Three months passed. Pandra sat through council meetings now. The king wanted nobles to see the pregnant queen, proof of his virility and power.
So she sat beside him and listened. And what she heard made her sick. Tax increases on villages already starving. Work camps expanding.
Execution orders signed with casual indifference. At night, she lay in the king’s bed and stared at Adelina’s portrait. She hadn’t heard from the rogues. Hadn’t heard if the antidote had worked.
If Nolrick had survived. The not knowing ate at her. It was late evening when it happened. Pandra was alone in the king’s chambers reading by candlelight.
A gust of wind nearly blew the flame out. She looked up. The window was open. She was certain she’d closed it.
“Pandra. ” The voice was quiet, familiar. A shadow slipped through the window with fluid grace. He wore dark clothes, face partially obscured, but she’d know those eyes anywhere.
“Nolrick,” Pandra breathed. Her book fell from nerveless fingers. Nolrick crossed the room in three strides, hands going to her elbows to steady her. And just like that, she was touching him again.
“You’re alive,” Pandra said, and her voice shook with relief. “Thanks to you. You saved my life. You risked everything.
Walked back into the place that terrified you, all to save me. ”
“You’re alive. That’s all that matters. ” Suddenly she was crying.
She wrapped her arms around him, buried her face in his shoulder, and sobbed. All the fear she’d been holding for three months poured out. Nolrick’s arms came around her carefully. “I’m here.
I’m sorry. I thought you were dead,” Pandra gasped between sobs. “We have horses waiting in the courtyard. We leave tonight.
I’ll take you somewhere safe. ”
“I can’t,” Pandra said. The words hurt to say. She wanted to run away with him so badly it physically ached.
But she couldn’t. She’d spent three months in council meetings. Three months watching the king destroy his own kingdom. Three months realizing that she had power.
“Pandra, he’ll kill you. After the baby is born, the moment he has his heir. ”
“Is this what happened to your sister? ” Pandra asked quietly.
“Adelina? ” Nolrick’s face went pale. “How do you—” Pandra pointed to the portrait on the wall. Nolrick turned slowly.
For a long moment, he just stared at his sister’s face. “She couldn’t conceive for three years. When she finally did, she was so happy. So relieved.
She thought she was safe. ” His voice cracked. “But she lost the baby. Miscarried at seven months.
And the king? He said she’d failed him. That she was useless. ” He took a shuddering breath.
“She tried again. Got pregnant again within six months and lost that baby, too. And then— within a week, she was dead. Poison disguised as complications from the loss.
”
Nolrick turned to face her fully. “I was at court when it happened. Living in my comfortable rooms, attending parties, laughing with nobles, eating five-course meals while my sister—” He stopped, swallowed hard. “I knew the king was difficult with her.
I knew she was struggling. But I didn’t look closely. I wasn’t ready to give up my life, my comfort. ” His voice broke completely.
“By the time I found out what happened, it was too late. He’d already branded my family traitors. He had them all killed. ”
“Nolrick, you can’t blame yourself.
You were young. You didn’t know. ”
“I should have known. I should have looked.
”
Pandra’s heart cracked. “That’s why you want him gone? ” she asked. Nolrick nodded.
“I want him gone so no other family ever experiences the loss mine has. No one is safe from him, Pandra. No one. ”
Pandra understood now.
Understood the guilt that drove him. “He can be replaced,” she said quietly. She took Nolrick’s hand and placed his palm flat against her swollen belly. “Feel that?
” The baby kicked, hard. Right where Nolrick’s hand rested. His eyes went wide. “That’s the heir.
Born of the queen in lawful marriage to the king. And raised by us. Taught to be kind. To care about their people.
” Understanding dawned across Nolrick’s face. “When this baby is born,” Pandra continued, “we need the king gone and me in his place. As queen regent until the true heir is old enough to rule. ”
Nolrick stared at her for a long moment.
Then he dropped to one knee again, hand still pressed to her belly. “What are you doing? ” Pandra asked. “Pledging myself to you.
You have my word. We will make you queen in truth. ”
Pandra’s vision blurred with tears. “I don’t feel brave.
I want to leave with you. ”
“Then come with me. We can find another way. ”
“There is no other way.
If I leave, I’m just a rebel, a traitor. The king’s runaway wife. But if I stay, if I have the baby here, if I establish myself as the legitimate queen, the nobles will accept the heir. They won’t accept a violent overthrow with no clear succession.
When the time comes, we give this kingdom the ruler it deserves. ”
A smile tugged at Nolrick’s mouth despite everything. “I love you,” he murmured, leaning in. A sound in the hallway.
Footsteps, voices. “I have to go,” Nolrick said. He moved to the window, quick and silent. “Hold on for two more months.
Can you do that? ”
Pandra straightened, one hand on her belly. “Of course I can. ” Nolrick’s smile was fierce and proud.
“That’s why you’re the queen. ” Then he was gone, and Pandra stood alone, one hand on her belly, the other pressed to her mouth where she could still feel his kiss. Two months. She looked up at Adelina’s portrait.
“I’ll finish what you started,” Pandra promised quietly. The baby kicked hard against her palm. Pandra smiled. “Soon,” she whispered to her child.
Six months later. The manor looked completely different. Pandra stood in the courtyard, the same courtyard where she’d first arrived, disgraced and exiled, and marveled at the transformation. The crumbling walls had been repaired.
Wounded soldiers were being tended in what used to be the great hall. Families found refuge in rooms that had once been ruins. The king had fallen six months ago. She was queen now, truly, regent until her son came of age.
Her son, who was currently sleeping peacefully in a basket beside her. He would never know his biological father. He would know Nolrick instead. As if summoned by her thoughts, Nolrick emerged from the manor.
He reached her side, immediately checking on the baby before looking at her with those sharp green eyes. “He’ll see me as his father, won’t he? ” “He already does. He stops crying the moment he hears your voice.
”
“We should get married,” Nolrick said suddenly. Pandra blinked. “What? ” “Married.
Properly. ” She stepped close. “You want to get married? Even though it took you forever to admit you wanted this?
” Nolrick smiled, that slow, genuine smile that transformed his whole face. “Is that a yes? ” he asked, leaning down to kiss her. “Obviously,” Pandra replied against his mouth.
They stood there in the courtyard of the manor that had once been a prison and was now a home. The place where an exiled queen had found her power and a guilt-ridden duke had found his redemption. And where their kingdom had been reborn.
