My god, this is a wild story from the world of R/space. Who needs honest conversations and empathy when you can just slap a six-thousand-dollar bracelet on your wrist and call it a day? Today on R/space, no amount of shiny jewelry can save this marriage. I never bought my wife jewelry.
She cheated on me to get back at me. I left her and took almost everything. I’ll try to write this as calmly as I can. But to be completely honest, I’m furious.
If there’s one thing I hate, it’s entitlement. Sometimes people deserve things, but when they don’t and they think they do, that’s the fastest way to make me angry and make me hate them. The problem now is that the person feeling entitled is my wife. Under normal circumstances, I would have let it slide.
But the real issue is what happened after she felt entitled. That’s the main reason I’m writing all this, because our marriage is completely over. To give you some background, I’m a 37-year-old man, and I met her, a 33-year-old woman, six years ago when I went on a group trip to Switzerland. During the trip, she seemed like a completely sensible young woman.
She wanted to learn more about the places we visited. She didn’t take many photos of herself. And when we talked, the conversation felt genuinely intelligent. She was beautiful too.
So, this wasn’t bad at all. I got her number before we headed home at the end of the trip. And as we talked, I didn’t advance our relationship until a few months later. She lived in another state, so I arranged to visit her and went.
She showed me around her city, and we had a great time. That’s when I knew I was going to try to get closer to her, and I did just before I left. She agreed. I was overjoyed, and that was the start of our relationship.
We met about twice a month for two days at a time. Despite the distance, we managed to keep our relationship going. Even when those petty arguments that usually happen between couples living apart started, she was understanding enough that things didn’t escalate. Again, I didn’t notice anything concerning about her, and I assure you I was careful to pay attention.
She worked in marketing at a relatively large company and was good at her job. I work in web development and earn much more than she does, but her financial situation wasn’t bad. Anyway, after two years of dating, I decided to marry her. I proposed.
She said yes, and six months later, we got married. Everyone was happy, right? I mean, that’s what I thought, and it seemed that way for a long time. But looking back, I can clearly see when the problem started.
As they say, hindsight is 20/20. When we got married, I asked her to move to my city, and her company approved the request. So, we moved in together, and she started working with an entirely new team. And it seems those people are the ones who made her what she is now.
She was never a demanding girlfriend, and even in the early days of our marriage, I didn’t notice that in her. She was always grateful for what I did for her, even the simplest things. Even when my income increased, she never claimed to be entitled. But all that changed when she started hanging out with new girls at work.
There were two in particular, and the moment they became friends, and she came home telling me stories about them, I didn’t approve. I saw them a few times, but that was after I learned about them. It was hard for me to shake my bias against them. They were fun, no doubt, but I didn’t like the influence I felt they might have on my wife.
For a long time, she didn’t seem to have changed in any way. She was still the woman I loved, so I had nothing to complain about. I assumed she was smart enough to take care of herself and wouldn’t give in to pressure and do anything reckless. They mostly went to restaurants and karaoke bars when they went out.
I let her go to a nightclub with them once, but she came back too drunk for my liking, so after that, I told her I wouldn’t allow it to happen again, and she didn’t object. That’s part of why I always trusted her. Still, she started going out more and more. As far as I knew, she wasn’t going to nightclubs, but her clothes were changing.
She used to dress attractively without revealing too much, but these days her outfits got shorter and more provocative. We argued several times about it, but we usually reached some kind of compromise. But I knew her friends were the reason she was trying to dress like that. Now, let me get to the heart of the matter.
When our third wedding anniversary approached, she told me there was something she really wanted. I had no reason to think it would be unreasonable, because the gifts she always asked for were fairly reasonable. Well, she said she wanted a Van Cleef bracelet. At the time, I didn’t know what that was.
When I looked it up, I saw that Van Cleef is a luxury jewelry brand, and their options are expensive, but there were a few in the $1,500 range, and I felt I could afford that, especially as an anniversary gift. Later that week, she mentioned Van Cleef again, talking about how beautiful their jewelry was, and I agreed. At that point, she decided to tell me she wanted a specific design, and she said it was the antique Alhambra five-clover design with malachite stone, which she said was green. I didn’t know any of those words before she started the story, but I’ll never forget them.
That night, I went to check the price, and I saw that what she asked for was about $6,000. I almost lost my mind. Sure, it was an anniversary, but it was only our third. If I was going to spend that much on one gift this year, what would she expect me to do next year?
I realized deep down that she hadn’t asked me for much before, so I knew she really wanted it. Still, I knew I couldn’t pay that amount, so I started looking other places to buy it, even if it was used. I was ready to pay $3,000 if I found a good deal, but even on eBay, trusted sellers were selling it for over $4,000. At that point, I was ready to buy it new no matter the cost.
I don’t know anything about buying jewelry, so laugh at me if you want. I have no idea how it holds its value. I even went to jewelry stores in the city to see if they had what I was looking for or could offer any advice, but most said it would be hard to find a malachite bracelet within my budget. They said it was better to convince her to settle for another type of Alhambra bracelet.
I tried that when I got home, but she insisted she wanted that specific one. In fact, she started getting annoyed about it. It was as if my refusal to pay $6,000 was bothering her. We ended up going to sleep that night without resolving anything, and in the meantime, I had about a week left until our anniversary.
The topic came up twice more, and while the first conversation was somewhat friendly, she completely lost her temper the second time. She was furious, and no matter how much she talked about never asking me for anything expensive before, she made it clear that her friends had similar five-clover bracelets, and she was the only one who didn’t have one. I told her they were single women with no responsibilities, and they were probably getting those expensive bracelets from other people’s paychecks. She asked me why she couldn’t get one from my paycheck since I earn so much, and I explained that it was because the bracelet was way too expensive.
The most expensive watch I own cost just under $2,000, and that was me splurging. I was willing to spend more than that on her, but what made me angry was her refusal to compromise. Van Cleef has many other beautiful bracelets that fit my budget, but she was too stubborn because she didn’t want to be left out of their little group. She had never been susceptible to peer pressure before, as far as I knew, but I think she desperately wanted to be like the cool girls.
We didn’t resolve our argument before bed. Things were so bad that I slept in the guest room. It was a complete mess, and that was just days before our anniversary. The next day, she went to work as usual, and although we barely talked, it never crossed my mind that things would turn upside down.
She came home later than usual, wearing different clothes than what she left in. But she claimed she went out with her friends after work and that it was planned in advance. She also brought extra clothes with her. I didn’t suspect anything that day, but I should have, because it was later than usual even when she went out with her friends.
Things got worse until our anniversary day arrived, and when it came, I made a conscious effort to get past her issues from the previous days. I started the day by giving her a bouquet of flowers and chocolates. We went to work, then I took her to a fancy restaurant she had been saying she wanted to visit for a while. At the end of the day, I surprised her with a necklace.
It wasn’t Van Cleef, because I felt that would be too much of a concession to what she really wanted. I hugged and kissed her, and told her I would buy her that bracelet someday, because I was just trying to be a loving husband and didn’t want us to fight over something like this. She improved a little, but it was still uncomfortable. I was hoping deep down that I had saved our anniversary.
I was even ready to start saving money monthly for the bracelet. That night, she spent a long time on her phone after we woke up until she fell asleep. I wanted to know her honest opinion of the day, and I knew her friends were the only ones she’d be truthful with. So, I went into their group chat, and there, everything fell apart.
She mentioned that I said I would buy her the bracelet, and her friends seemed happy about that. She admitted that the day was beautiful despite our argument. That’s what I came to see, but I kept reading, and then the conversation shifted to one of her friends asking what she would do after I agreed to buy the bracelet. I mean, after that night.
It was clear something had happened regarding the bracelet, and I didn’t fully understand the context until I got deeper into the conversation. When we last argued about the bracelet, she went to talk to her friends. She was very angry with me because, as she put it, she had enough money to afford what she wanted. She kept insisting she had never asked me for anything, and the one time she did, I couldn’t deliver.
All her friends did was fuel her anger. They didn’t even try to calm her down. My wife suggested they go to the club the next day, and her friends were surprised and asked if I was okay with it. She said she didn’t care that defying me would make her feel better.
For her, it was a way to get revenge on me for upsetting her by refusing to buy the bracelet. That day, she packed clothes. The clothes she came back in weren’t strange, but the photos they posted on the page showed her wearing something completely different. I won’t hesitate to say it was vulgar.
If I had known, she would never have worn something like that, and I’m sure she borrowed it from one of her friends. A few hours before she came home that night, one of her friends texted her saying she wouldn’t answer her phone, then asked, “Did you go home with that guy? ” There was no reply for an hour, until she answered that question with a shy emoji. At that point, her friend started replying furiously.
There was one reply: “Are you sure that was a good idea? ” But my wife’s response was, “I’m angry at him, and I feel better now. ” So, yeah. That part is what made me lose my mind.
She cheated on me because she was angry that I didn’t buy her a six-thousand-dollar bracelet. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds to people? We’re not rich. We’re not wealthy.
We live a comfortable life and strive to increase our standard of living. Buying a $3,000 bracelet was a huge concession for her, and she rejected it. It made her so angry that she chose to cheat on me with a stranger at the club, and she felt no remorse because she thought it was the perfect revenge after I upset her. I knew I couldn’t keep it inside.
I documented as much of the important parts of the chat log as I could, then went to wake her up. As soon as I saw her stir, I put my phone screen in front of her face. It took half a minute for her vision to clear enough to see what I was showing her. Once she processed it, she snatched the phone from me and sat up immediately.
She didn’t know how to act in that moment. She was clutching her phone tightly, staring at it. I shouted at her to look at me, but she couldn’t. I really wish I hadn’t had to face that at the end of what was supposed to be a relatively peaceful night.
I thought we had survived the mess of the stupid bracelet argument, only to end up in a marriage-threatening situation because of that same argument. If I hadn’t decided to check her phone, I might never have known. So, because you were angry at me, your idea of appropriate revenge was to go act trashy at the club and cheat? She was trembling in bed while I said all that, and it was disturbing.
I shouted at her to speak, but she just moaned. I imagine I was pretty scary in that moment because I had never been that angry before. I told her that if she had nothing to say, she could leave. Then she whispered, “I’m sorry,” and tried to say something else, but she didn’t have the courage.
I asked her to pack her bags and leave. I told her I’d give her twenty minutes, and she could get the rest of her things later, but I needed her out of there immediately. She didn’t resist. She started packing, and when I saw her pick up the box with the wedding ring I had just bought her, I snatched it from her.
I told her I would never give it back to her. She almost resisted, but I think she thought better of it, and that was wise. I knew I would return it the next day. She finally finished packing, and as she headed toward the door, she stopped and looked at me for a long time.
I don’t know if she wanted to say something, or if she thought I would say something before she left, but I had nothing to say. We exchanged glances until she decided to walk out. I haven’t seen her since, and I’m happy about that. I’ve filed for divorce, and I hope things go smoothly.
She certainly won’t want to leave with nothing, but I’ll do my best to make sure things go that way. Update: Divorce is a terrible process. When a couple splits amicably, it can still get messy. That definitely wasn’t the case for me.
When we tried to negotiate, I made it clear to her lawyer that I wanted her to get nothing at all. He said she deserved half. I told him I would never let a cheating woman take half of what I own. He claimed I couldn’t prove she cheated.
I told him I had all the screenshots where she confessed, and that was new to them. Although their position backed off a bit, they still wanted far more than I was willing to give. So, as expected, we took it to the judge. From there, things got more tense.
There was a lot of arguing, with each lawyer trying to inflate the other party’s negative traits to an almost criminal degree. Fortunately, the judge saw through most of her arguments. Still, we pushed the infidelity issue, because I expected that we would have remained a happy couple if she hadn’t done what she did. There was no justification for rewarding her; it was her choice that brought us all to this state.
In the end, I managed to keep the house, the car, some valuables in our home, and most of my money, after deducting the hefty lawyer fees. I was ordered to pay alimony for several years, which infuriates me. I didn’t really want any connection to this woman because she would only be a nuisance from now on, but the court saw alimony as fair. I wish she had gotten nothing at all.
Anyway, because of alimony, I couldn’t get rid of her as I had hoped. So, she calls me about once a month to ask about money. I always send the messages because I never want to get into trouble, and then I don’t hear from her until the same time the next month. Unless she’s drunk, which has happened several times.
I had to do one last thing, which was probably pretty petty, all things considered, and that was buying an Alhambra bracelet. I probably won’t wear it to any important event, and I had saved a decent amount to buy it, so I did. I took a photo of my wrist, restricted my WhatsApp status so only she could see it, and sent it. She didn’t try to call me until late that night.
Needless to say, she didn’t find it funny. She cursed me out, and I made sure to tell her that the photo was what she missed out on. I’m not usually that petty, so it felt strange. I later sold the bracelet and bought a nice watch instead.
I don’t know what the moral of the story is. Don’t be a cheating wife. Don’t cheat on anyone. A moment of pleasure will never be better than a stable life.
I hope she learns that the hard way. You’re right, OP. People act like they deserve everything they want, even if they hurt others along the way. It shouldn’t be that way, but it is.
Divorce itself is a brutal process, and it gets complicated and messy when both parties aren’t willing to act rationally. I mean, you definitely don’t go into a marriage thinking your partner will give up everything so easily. I understand why you’re angry and want to get out of her life as quickly as possible. Keeping your pace and moving forward is the best thing you can do now.
Hopefully, with time, you can heal and rebuild your life on your own terms. Be patient, OP. Do you have a similar story you’d like to share? Share it with us in the comments.
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