I was brushing my teeth when the room spun and everything went black. When I woke up, David was holding me, his face white as snow, screaming my name. I was twenty-four years old, and the doctor…

The doctor gave me six months. He is picking out my wedding dress, but I will be dead before spring. That is my secret. My last secret.

I am twenty-four years old. I live in a small, quiet town with my boyfriend, David. He has brown hair and green eyes, and he smiles a lot. When he smiles, I feel happy.

He works hard in an office, and he loves me. I know he loves me very much. We were planning a beautiful life together. But my body is sick.

Very sick. I remember the day I found out. It was a cold Tuesday, the sky gray. I felt tired, and my bones hurt.

I went to the hospital, sat on a hard chair, and waited. The clock on the white wall ticked loudly. Then the doctor called my name. He held a piece of white paper, and his eyes were sad.

“Amelia,” he said. “I am so sorry. You have six months. ”

I heard the words, but I did not understand them.

Six months is not enough. It was autumn then, the leaves red and yellow on the ground. Winter would come, then spring. The flowers would bloom, but I would not see them.

I would be dead before spring. I cried in that room, alone and scared. I wanted David. I wanted his warm hug.

I took the bus home. People on the street were laughing, living their normal lives. They did not know my secret. My world had stopped, but theirs kept moving.

When I opened the door, the house smelled like garlic and tomatoes. David was cooking soup. He smiled his big smile. “Hello, beautiful,” he said, kissing my cheek.

“How was the doctor? ”

I opened my mouth to tell him the truth. I wanted to say, “I am dying. ” But I could not break his heart.

So I lied. I told him the doctor gave me new medicine and that I just needed rest. He looked relieved. He hugged me tight.

“Good,” he said. “Because we have a lot to do. We need to plan our wedding. ”

He wanted a summer wedding.

A wedding in June, when the sun is warm and the sky is blue. But June was too late for me. I would be gone. He did not know.

After dinner, he took out a big blue notebook. He had filled it with pages cut from magazines: dresses, rings, flowers. His eyes were shining. “I want pink flowers,” he said.

“Do you like pink flowers? ”

“Yes,” I said quietly. “And we will have a big band. We will dance all night.

It will be the best day. ”

I closed my eyes and imagined it. His happy face on our wedding day. It was a nice dream.

I decided to keep the dream alive. I would let him plan. This was my gift to him. My last gift.

Weeks passed. I grew weaker. Every day I felt more tired. Waking up was hard.

My body felt heavy, like a bag of rocks. But David was busy and happy. He woke up early and sang in the shower. One Saturday, he woke me up with coffee and toast.

“Today is a big day,” he said. “Today we buy your dress. ”

My heart beat fast. My wedding dress.

I would never wear it in a church. I felt a lump in my throat, but I smiled. We drove to the city, to a beautiful bridal shop with large glass windows. Inside were rows of white dresses, long and short, covered in lace and shiny stones.

A kind lady came to help us. David walked around, touching the fabric, searching. “This one,” he said suddenly, pointing to a dress in the corner. It was long and white, with flowers on the skirt.

It looked like a princess dress. “Try it on, please, Amelia. ”

The lady helped me into it in a small dressing room. I was very thin now.

But when I looked in the large mirror, I did not see a dying girl. I saw a bride. I looked healthy for a moment, but inside my heart was breaking. I walked out.

David was sitting on a chair. He looked up and stopped breathing. His eyes got wide, and he stood up slowly, walking toward me like I was a vision. “Amelia,” he whispered.

“You are an angel. You are so beautiful. ”

He held my hands and kissed my forehead. He was so happy.

I smiled for him. “We will take it,” he told the lady. He bought the dress. He is picking out my wedding dress, but I will be dead before spring.

The thought made me sad, but his big smile made me happy. Love is complicated. It is hard and beautiful at the same time. The weather turned colder.

It was November now. The trees were bare. I stayed home a lot, reading books and drinking hot tea. The cold air hurt my lungs.

David came home every day with new ideas. One evening, he brought home small white boxes from a local bakery. Slices of cake in many flavors: chocolate, vanilla, lemon, red. “We have to taste them all today,” he said, handing me a silver fork.

I took a small bite of chocolate. It was too sweet. My stomach felt sick. Food tasted like paper now.

But I chewed and swallowed. “It is good,” I said. “Now try the lemon. ”

We sat at the wooden table, eating cake.

He laughed loudly, with a piece of yellow cake on his nose. I laughed too and wiped it off with a white napkin. “Which one is the best? ” he asked.

“The vanilla,” I said. “The vanilla is perfect. ”

He wrote it down in his blue notebook with his black pen. He was so proud.

I watched his hand writing the words, and I wanted to freeze time. I wanted to stay in that warm kitchen forever, just eating cake with David, just being normal. Sometimes it was very hard to hide the truth. One day I fainted in the bathroom.

I was brushing my teeth when the room spun and everything went black. I woke up on the hard floor. David was holding me, shaking. His face was white like snow.

“Amelia, Amelia! ” he shouted. “I am awake,” I whispered. He picked me up in his strong arms and put me in our bed.

He called my doctor, yelling into the phone. “She is not getting better! Your medicine is not working! ”

He hung up and sat by my side, holding my hand.

He buried his face in my neck and cried loudly. His tears made my skin wet. “I am so scared,” he said, his voice broken. “I do not want to lose you.

I cannot lose you. ”

I stroked his soft brown hair. “I am here,” I said softly. “I am right here with you.

”

I almost told him the secret then. But he looked up at me, his eyes red and swollen. He looked so fragile, like broken glass. He needed hope.

“We need to hurry,” he said, wiping his eyes. “We need to get married soon. Maybe in April. Can we change the date to April?

”

April. Springtime. I would not be here in April. But I nodded.

“April,” I said. “April is a beautiful month. ”

He kissed my hand. “I will plan faster.

April will be perfect. You will be better in April. ”

He needed the planning. It gave him hope.

Hope is a strong thing. It keeps us moving forward. I could not take that away from him. December arrived.

The first snow fell, covering the streets in white. It was beautiful, but I was very weak now. I spent all day in bed or on the sofa. My legs felt like jelly.

My breathing was slow and shallow. David brought the wedding invitations home. He had designed them himself: thick white paper with shiny silver writing. He sat on the edge of the bed and put a wooden tray over my legs.

“Let us write the names on the envelopes,” he said happily, handing me a black pen. I took it, but my hand was shaking. I tried to write my friend’s name, Sarah. The letters came out messy and crooked.

My hand would not listen to my brain anymore. I dropped the pen. It rolled across the tray and left a black mark on the perfect white paper. “I ruined it,” I said, tears filling my eyes.

I cried because of the ruined paper. But I also cried because I was dying. I was too weak to write a name. I was losing everything.

David took the ruined paper and moved the tray away. He pulled me into his warm arms and kissed the top of my head. “It is okay,” he said softly. “It is just paper.

I will write them. You just tell me who to invite. ”

I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Ba-bum.

Ba-bum. A strong, healthy heartbeat. He sat and wrote names for two hours. My mother’s name.

His father’s name. All our friends. He made a big pile of white envelopes and smiled at it. “Our friends will be so excited to get these,” he said.

I nodded and smiled back. I felt a deep peace. I was giving him good memories. One night, when David was asleep, I could not sleep.

My body hurt too much. I got out of bed slowly and walked to the kitchen. I turned on a small yellow light, found a piece of plain paper and a pen. I need to leave him something.

I need to leave my voice behind. I wrote a letter. “My dearest David,” I began. “When you read this, I will be gone.

I am sorry. I am so very sorry. I kept this secret. The doctor gave me six months to live.

I knew I would not see the spring. ”

My tears fell on the paper. I wiped my eyes and kept writing. “But you were so happy.

You were planning our beautiful wedding. You had so much hope in your eyes. Your hope gave me joy. Your planning gave me a reason to smile every single day.

You gave me the best last months of my life. You made me feel like a beautiful bride. ”

I took a deep breath. My chest hurt.

I rested, then wrote more. “Do not be angry with me, please. I loved you too much to stop you. I loved the white dress.

I loved the sweet cake. I loved the silver invitations. In my mind, we had the wedding. We danced to the music.

We laughed with our friends. We were married in my heart. ”

I looked out the window. The stars were shining in the black sky.

“Please be happy,” I wrote at the end. “Please live a long, good life. Wear your nice suit. Eat the vanilla cake.

Dance to the music. And one day, find true love again. I want you to be loved. You are a wonderful man.

Thank you for loving me so much. Forever yours, Amelia. ”

I folded the paper carefully and put it in a small envelope. I wrote his name on the front.

Then I hid it inside his blue wedding notebook. He would find it when the time was right. When spring came. The next day, my best friend Sarah came to visit.

She has blonde hair and usually has a loud, happy laugh, but today she did not laugh. She wore a black sweater. She knows my secret. She went to the doctor with me long ago.

She sat next to me on the sofa and held my cold hand. “You look very tired, Amelia,” she said softly. “I am tired, Sarah. Very tired.

My time is almost up. I can feel it. ”

She started to cry, hiding her face in her hands. “No, please, not yet.

”

“It is okay,” I said, touching her hair. “I am not afraid anymore. I am ready. But I need a favor.

A very big favor. ”

She looked up, her face wet. “Anything. I will do anything for you.

”

I told her about the white dress at the shop in the city. The dress David bought for me. It was still there, being kept in a safe room until April. “Go to the shop today,” I said.

“Get the dress. Bring it here. Hide it in your car. Do not let David see it.

”

“Why? ” she asked. “I want to wear it. I want to show him just once before it is too late.

”

Sarah nodded. “Okay. I will get it today. I promise.

”

She drove to the city and came back in the afternoon with a big white bag. She hid it in the guest bedroom. David was at his office. He did not know.

My special plan was ready. It was a week before Christmas. The air outside was freezing. The doctor came to my house and checked my heart and my slow breathing.

Then he talked to David in the hallway. Their voices were low, but the house was quiet. I heard them. “It will not be long now,” the doctor said.

“A few days, maybe a week. Keep her warm. Make her comfortable. ”

I heard David crying.

A soft, broken, terrible cry. It broke my heart. The doctor left. David came into the bedroom, his eyes red.

He tried to smile for me. “You are doing great,” he lied, kissing my hand. “David,” I said, my voice barely a whisper. “Can you go to the store for me?

I want some strawberries, please. Fresh red strawberries. ”

Strawberries in winter. He laughed a little sad laugh.

“Okay, I will find some for you. I will go to the big supermarket across town. I will be back soon. ”

He put on his heavy winter coat, kissed my head, and left.

I heard his car start and drive away. I picked up my phone and called Sarah. “Come quickly,” I said. “It is time.

Bring the bag. ”

Sarah came fast. She ran into the house, grabbed the big white bag from the guest bedroom, and brought it into my room. She helped me out of bed.

I could not stand well. I leaned heavily on her shoulder. She took off my soft pajamas and pulled the beautiful white wedding dress over my head. It was loose, very loose.

I had lost so much weight. But the dress was still beautiful. Sarah tied the back tightly to make it fit. She sat me in a chair and brushed my hair.

She put a little pink makeup on my pale cheeks and a little red color on my dry lips. “Look,” she said, holding a small mirror to my face. I looked at myself. I looked tired, with dark circles under my eyes.

But I looked like a bride. A real bride. I gave a small smile. “Help me to the living room,” I said.

Sarah held my arm. We walked slowly, step by step. The long dress brushed the wooden floor with a soft sound. She helped me sit in the big comfortable chair that faced the front door.

“I will wait outside in my car,” Sarah said, kissing my cheek. “You look perfect. ”

She left. I sat alone.

The house was quiet. The Christmas tree stood in the corner, its small lights twinkling red, green, and yellow. It was a magical room. I waited.

I breathed slowly. In and out. I wanted to stay awake. I had to stay awake for him.

After thirty minutes, I heard his car outside. I heard his footsteps on the stairs. I heard his key in the door. The door opened.

Cold wind blew in. David walked in, holding a small plastic box. “I found the strawberries,” he said happily. He looked down while taking off his shoes.

He closed the door. He turned around. He saw me. He stopped moving.

The plastic box fell from his hands and hit the floor. Red strawberries spilled everywhere, rolling across the brown wood. He did not move. He did not speak.

He just stared at me, his mouth slightly open, his green eyes wide. “Surprise,” I whispered. He took one step forward, then another. He walked slowly, like he was walking in a dream, like I was a magic ghost.

He fell to his knees in front of my chair. His hands were shaking violently as he reached out and touched the white lace of my dress. Then he touched my cold hands. “Amelia,” he cried, his voice breaking into pieces.

“Amelia, what is this? ”

“It is our wedding day,” I said, giving him a small loving smile. “I could not wait until April. I wanted to be your bride today.

”

Tears fell down his face. Big, fast, heavy tears. He did not wipe them away. He looked deep into my eyes, and he understood.

He finally understood everything. He understood that I would not be here in April. He understood that this was my goodbye. But he did not run away.

He did not yell. He stayed on his knees, holding my cold hands tightly in his warm ones. “You are the most beautiful bride,” he said, crying. “The most beautiful woman in the whole world.

”

“Let us say our words,” I said softly. “Just you and me, right now. ”

He nodded, sniffing, trying to stop crying. He looked at me with so much love.

A big, deep, powerful love. “I, David,” he said, his voice shaking, “take you, Amelia, to be my wife. My only love, forever and ever, through all of time. ”

I smiled.

My heart felt warm. The pain in my sick body went away for one small minute. “I, Amelia,” I whispered, “take you, David, to be my husband. My true love.

I will love you from here to the stars, forever. ”

He leaned forward slowly and kissed my lips. It was a soft, gentle kiss, tasting like salt from his tears. But it was the best kiss of my whole life.

“We are married,” he whispered against my forehead. “Yes,” I said. “We are married. ”

That night, Sarah came back inside.

She and David helped me out of the heavy dress and put it back in the white bag. They put my pajamas back on and helped me into my warm bed. I was so tired. I could not keep my eyes open anymore.

But I was happy. My heart was completely full. I had my beautiful wedding. I wore my perfect dress.

I saw the pure look of love on his handsome face. The next few days were quiet. I stayed in bed. David stayed right next to me.

He did not go to his office. He did not write in his blue notebook anymore. The busy planning was over. The wedding was done.

Now there was only peace, just being together in the quiet room. He held my hand all the time. He told me funny stories from his childhood. He read me good books.

Sometimes we just listened to soft piano music. He smiled when I opened my eyes. He kissed my thin fingers. He fed me cold water with a small metal spoon.

He is a good husband. The best husband in the world. My time is very short now. My breaths are slow.

I sleep almost all day. The pain is fading. The fear is gone. I feel light, like I am floating.

I wanted to tell you this story before I go. I wanted to share my big secret with you. My name is Amelia. I am twenty-four years old.

The doctor gave me six months to live. I am dying. And my David planned our wedding. He picked out my dress, and I will be dead before spring.

But please listen to me. This is not a sad story. Please do not be sad for me. This is a happy story.

This is a true story about love. Love is the most important thing in the whole world. It is stronger than sickness. It is stronger than fear.

It is much stronger than death. Death can take my body, but death cannot take my love. Because of David, my last months were filled with pure joy. Because of his happy planning, I had a beautiful dream to wake up to.

I tasted sweet vanilla cake. I saw beautiful pink flowers in pictures. I felt like a true princess. He gave me a future in my mind, even when my sick body had no future left.

My life was short, too short. But it was full. I loved deeply with all my heart, and I was loved deeply by a good man. Many people live for eighty or ninety years and never find this kind of true love.

I found it. I am very lucky. I want to tell you something important. Life is beautiful.

Life is a gift. But life is also very fast, like a fast train. Do not wait for tomorrow. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

If you love someone, tell them today. Tell them right now. Give them a big warm hug. Look in their eyes.

Say the words out loud: I love you. Do not fight over small things. The dishes do not matter. The money does not matter.

Only love matters in the end. If you have a big dream, go after it today. Do not be afraid to try. It is okay to be scared sometimes.

But try anyway. Maybe you are facing a hard time right now. Maybe you feel alone. Maybe you feel sick or very tired.

Maybe you want to give up. Please know that there is light in the dark. There is always hope. Find your hope.

Find your small joy. Enjoy a simple cup of hot tea in the morning. Look at a beautiful green tree. Feel the warm sun on your face.

The world is full of small, beautiful things. I will close my eyes very soon. I will go to a deep sleep. I will not wake up again in this bed.

But I am not afraid at all. I have my beautiful, perfect memories. I have my beautiful white dress. I have my husband.

I have David’s deep love in my heart forever. When spring comes, the cold snow will melt away. The pink and yellow flowers will bloom in the grass. The birds will sing loud songs.

The sun will be warm and bright. I will not be here to see it. But when you see the spring flowers, think of me for a moment. Think of Amelia.

Think of the happy girl who had a beautiful wedding in her heart. Keep loving with all you have. Keep hoping for good things. Keep living your beautiful life every single day.

Thank you for listening to my story. Thank you for sitting with me. Thank you for being my friend today. Goodbye.

Be happy. Live a very good life.