The night she came back from visiting Jesse, I told myself I was being paranoid. But then I found a pregnancy test in her name at Target, and everything I tried to believe started to crack. We had been together for just under a year. We didn’t live together, both worked full-time, and were exclusive as far as I knew.
About three months ago, she started spending hours on the phone with her friend Jesse. She said he was just a good friend, but she’d be on the phone with him even when we were out together. I didn’t think much of it until she announced she was going to visit him, two states over. I couldn’t go because I had to work.
I told her I wasn’t comfortable with her staying at a male friend’s place out of state, but she assured me nothing would happen. Jesse was a single father of two young boys, and she’d be staying at his house. She shared her location to put my mind at ease, and she left for a week. When she came back, we moved on with life.
About two weeks ago, she asked me to pick up an online order she placed at our local Target. She said it was shampoo and some hygiene items. I agreed, went to customer service, and gave them her name. The employee brought out a bag with a pregnancy test in it.
I froze. I told them that wasn’t what she ordered. They checked again and brought out a second bag with the shampoo, deodorant, and lotion. I confirmed both orders were under her name and account.
She had secretly placed an order for a pregnancy test, and planned to pick it up separately while I grabbed her other stuff. I asked her why there was a pregnancy test in her name. She said she had no idea, that she didn’t order it. She told me to check the Target app, but when I asked to see it, she said her sister probably used her account because her sister did that sometimes.
She also claimed women sometimes use pregnancy tests to regulate their PMS. I don’t know anything about that, but I knew that didn’t sound right. She assured me she wasn’t pregnant, and the test wasn’t a sign she cheated while she was away. The other night, we went out to dinner, and she made a point to order a few cocktails, as if proving she wasn’t pregnant.
I tried to let it go, but something kept gnawing at me. Her sister lived about twenty minutes from her and had a Target much closer. Why would her sister order a pregnancy test under my girlfriend’s account and pick it up near my girlfriend’s house? And why would my girlfriend change her story every time I asked?
First she didn’t order it, then it was an accident, then it was her sister, then women use pregnancy tests for PMS. None of it made sense. I brought all this up, and she made me feel like I was the crazy one, like I was paranoid for even questioning her. She told me I was making things weird by believing she cheated on me
I didn’t know what to believe anymore.
So last night, after reading everyone’s comments and panicking, I went to her apartment while she was at work. She had given me a key, so I let myself in. I found her iPad. I tried her birthday as the password, and to my amazement, it worked.
I went straight to her messages, and I found evidence that she in fact had sex with Jesse while she was on that trip. I felt my stomach drop. I couldn’t eat. I barely slept.
I was devastated, but I also needed to confront her. I told her I needed to talk to her in person. She kept saying she was busy, but I insisted. She finally told me to come over at eight.
When I got there, I told her things had felt weird ever since she got back from her trip. She claimed I was the one making things weird by believing she cheated. She kept saying the pregnancy test wasn’t hers, that Jesse was just a friend, that they just hung out. Then I told her I knew she cheated because I saw the messages on her iPad.
Her face changed. She said, “You came here without me knowing and went through my personal messages. That’s so messed up and creepy to be honest. ” I told her my suspicions were correct and she was trying to deflect.
I asked her to give me her phone and I’d show her exactly what I saw. She refused and said, “We are not married. We don’t live together. You don’t own or control me.
” I agreed with that part, but I had already decided. I put her copy of my keys on her coffee table and told her, “You cheated. Plain and simple. Goodbye and good luck.
” I walked out, and she made no attempt to stop me. Later, she texted me, saying she was sorry. At first, she claimed Jesse was an old boyfriend she never told me about, that they dated years ago and that he moved away. She said the messages I saw were old conversations they had.
I told her that was obviously not true. Then she swore she didn’t mean to cheat, that Jesse must have gotten her drunk, and it led to sex. She assured me she wasn’t pregnant with anyone’s baby. I told her that was good, because I didn’t want anything else tying me to her.
I wished her good luck again, and I haven’t heard from her since. I’m relieved, but I’m also devastated. I talked to my friend Eric, who told me he had an ex who cheated on him too, and she later tried to contact him years later when the guy she cheated with turned out to be a bum. I hope I can move forward from this.
I know going through her iPad was wrong, but I had to know. And now I know. I don’t regret leaving.
I just regret that I ever doubted myself.
